Makenzi Ryanne

11:11

2012-02-06T23:12:00.003-06:00

God and I have this thing going on. See, it seems that I look at the clock pretty much every time it reads "11:11." Whether it's in the morning or at night when I'm getting ready for bed, I seem to always see when those numbers pop up. I decided to ask God what He was wanting to tell me, and He told me that He wants me to be thankful for the here and now. As a college student it's so easy to always be looking towards the future-- "What will I do once I graduate?" "Am I going to go on any adventures?" "When will I meet the person I'm going to marry?" etc. etc. On top of that, God has said that 2012 is going to be a year of promise. I feel like I'm on the edge of something new with Him, and I'm so ready to jump into whatever it is. It's so easy for me to constantly be jumping ahead and wondering what's next. I firmly believe that the best is always yet to come and God's plans are always good so that gets me excited. BUT God wants to remind me, that He has something for me NOW. Right now. Right here. He has me in this place for such a time as this, and He doesn't want me to miss it. So for now, I'm letting 11:11 be my reminder to be all here now and to look for what He is doing around me.

End of Year Resolutions

2011-11-28T09:30:00.002-06:00

The year 2011 is coming to an end, and it got me thinking. Every year I attempt to make New Years Resolutions. Yes, sometimes they've actually happened, but for the most part... It just doesn't happen. The biggest hinderance is not my lack of motivation but the idea that I have a whole year in front of me to get it done. Well, I have decided to try something new this year. I am making End of Year Resolutions. Nothing huge, just a couple of goals I have for myself before we ring in the New Years. So here we go...

1. Lose 2 more pounds. Yes I'm aware this is cliche and silly BUT I gained between 15 and 20 pounds during 2010, and this year I have lost all of that except 2 pounds. It's gonna happen folks-- and it's gonna happen WITHOUT me cutting out all the holiday yummys. Just watch.

2. Pay off my debt. This sounds much more intense than it really is. It really just means making sure all of my credit cards are completely paid off when I start the New Year. I want to start the New Year owing no man anything except to love them in Jesus Christ.

So those are my End of Year Resolutions. What are yours??

Rainy November Day

2011-11-21T16:12:00.001-06:00

Opinion From the Other Side...

2011-11-10T22:23:00.004-06:00

Many of you responded to my twitter about my professor's discussion of Christian missionaries in Africa today. One hundred and forty characters isn't enough to explain so I thought I would link you all to my blog. My teacher is a Kenyan man who was a kid when what is known as the "Mau Mau Rebellion" occurred in Kenya. This was a native rebellion against the British colonial government. Both of his parents were what he called "devout Christians." While he has never shared where he stands, I have gathered that he is rather indifferent to religion. He doesn't seem bitter towards it or even opposed. He might even be a believer, but he just doesn't really discuss it so it's hard to tell. Today a student asked about what caused the divisions between Kenyans in the rebellion. Economic divisions are discussed most, but the student asked if there were more reasons. Jid (my professor) replied that it was a great question because while class differences were a big contributor, religion was also very influential. He went on to call himself a "product of missionary schools". He said that Christian missionaries have really helped African educational systems. Additionally, he pointed out that they have brought lots of medicine and helped the overall health of Africans. However, when the Africans wanted to build their own government and get out from under colonial powers (much as the US did a couple hundred years earlier), the missionaries often sided with the colonial government. This placed Christian Africans in an awkward place. Their leaders were telling them to essentially fight against their brothers, creating Civil Wars. For example, my professor had a paternal uncle fighting for the Mau Mau and a maternal uncle fighting for the British, much as we saw in our own Civil War. He said that this occurred not only in Kenya but in many other countries like Zimbabwe and Mozambique. True, in the case of the Mau Mau, Christians did not want to have to take the Mau Mau oath to kill, but that does not mean they wanted to fight for the cause of the colonial powers either. All in all, Jid seemed to feel that the pros of missionaries outweighed the cons, but it got me thinking... Why do we so often try to force our comfort zones onto natives? We should be supporting local governments and being a help, not a harm to them. Yes, colonial struggles are now completely over in Africa, but it is still up to us to aid in the building of strong and successful governments, not to create divisions amongst the people. That's really all that was said, but, at least for me, it was food for thought.

Did you know that after the horrors of World War 2, concentration camps were used throughout Africa (such as in Kenya, as seen below) where prisoners were tortured and thousands of women and children died of malnutrition and disease?

Also

2011-10-19T21:07:00.001-05:00

I am also planning on making these for my living room following midterms craziness. So pretty = )

Midterms

2011-10-18T20:45:00.002-05:00

This is one of those weeks of school that you just have to grit your teeth and plow through. I've been amazed at how much harder each semester of school has gotten. I know that's the idea, but as soon as I manage to get my study skills to match my classes, they get harder! Anyway, I'm really just procrastinating as I should be hitting the books right now, but I thought I'd make a list of what I will do once I turn in my last paper on Friday instead. So here we go...

1. Sleep
2. Work out
3. Sleep
4. Get groceries so I can stop eating black beans for every meal.
5. Try out my new Holga cam
6. Go on an adventure with Abbey (I haven't run this past her yet, but I'm sure she'll accommodate)
7. Prepare for the pinnacle of Kevinmas (Monday, October 24)
8. Cheer the Sooners on to victory
9. Watch a movie
10. Do my nails

BAM. Glad I got that figured out. Now back to studying for my Fall of the Roman Empire midterm tomorrow. Woot woot!

9 Years Ago...

2011-10-11T11:32:00.010-05:00

9 years ago today, I gained another little sister. It is blowing me away that she is SERIOUSLY 9. I don't even know how that's possible. Here are some of my favorite pictures of her. Man, I love this little girl. I hate that she lives so far away now. Happy birthday Halle! I LOVE YOU!!!!

A Day For...

2011-10-07T12:16:00.004-05:00

Today is a day for...

Learning more about the art of picture taking
Downloading beautiful fonts
Relaxing
Enjoying this day that the Lord has made
Taking fall inspire pictures
Smiling
Feeling at peace.

I'm so thankful for days without commitments that allow me to enjoy life. Thank you Jesus for today!

Chosen

2011-09-12T10:14:00.003-05:00

"You're Jacob, my first choice,
descendants of my good friend Abraham.
I pulled you in from all over the world,
called you in from every dark corner of the earth,
Telling you, 'You're my servant, serving on my side.
I've picked you. I haven't dropped you.'
Don't panic. I'm with you...
Do you feel like a lowly worm, Jacob?
Don't be afraid.
Feel like a fragile insect, Israel?
I'll help you.
I, God, want to reassure you.
The God who buys you back, The Holy of Israel.
I'm transforming you from worm to harrow,
from insect to iron.
As a sharp-toothed harrow you'll smooth out the mountains,
turn those tough old hills into loamy soil.
You'll open the rough ground to the weather,
to the blasts of sun and wind and rain.
But you'll be confident and exuberant,
expansive in The Holy of Israel!"

{Excerpts from Isaiah 41 in the Message}

Isn't it beautiful to know we are chosen??

Order From Chaos

2011-09-06T15:21:00.002-05:00

Just read this in a book for school and was reminded on the consistency of God. He's so good!

"On the Sabbath the Hebrews recalled how Yahweh had created the world out of formlessness and void, and how the Creator had crowned the creation with the Sabbath itself. Thus on each Sabbath the Hebrews celebrated an order that was real for all time, an order as old and fundamental as the creation itself, an order celebrating God's triumph over chaos. Empires might come and go, but this order would always remain. Each celebration of the Sabbath affirmed a faith that the God who in the beginning had brought order out of chaos would conquer captivity's historical chaos as well..."

-The Letters of Paul: Conversations in Context (Calvin J. Roetzel)

Abundance

2011-08-25T08:34:00.004-05:00

God reminded and revealed the most beautiful thing to me last night as I was falling asleep! When Christ died He took all our punishment. He bore it all!! That means that God never punishes our sin. Sometimes our sins punish us, but in Him there is only freedom! That means that God doesn't take away things or hurt us because of our sins. He just doesn't!! Everything that is taken away from us is not punishment! When good things are taken away, they are stolen by the enemy. He has come to kill, steal, and destroy, but Christ has come that we might have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10). God never desires to hurt us. However, just as a loving Daddy will take away something that will hurt us, our Abba is watching out for us diligently. His desire is never to make us miserable. He hates to see us hurt. That is not His heart's desire, but He sees the big picture and desires to take us to the most abundant place possible. Sometimes we kick and scream. And consequently, sometimes He leaves us to what we think is best for us. After all, He never desired for us to be robots. He gives us free will. Just as Moses made decisions that kept him from ever reaching the promised land, we can choose to not move forward into the destiny God has for us. But... if God has the best for us, why would we not want that?? Why would I not want to follow Him to deeper and better places? He has promised abundant life. He has promised to restore the years the locust stole (Joel 2:25). When we seek Him, He doubles the portion that the enemy stole (Job 42:10). But wait-- He doesn't promise it will be easy. It's often in the valley that He speaks to us (Ezekiel 3:22), but He promises to walk through that valley with us (Psalm 23:4). He calls us His. He calls us precious and honored, promising to never leave us in our trials (Isaiah 43). The way is narrow. It's not always easy, but it's good. Because He is all good and desires to lead His children to abundance. Praise Him!

The Baby House

2011-08-19T09:07:00.014-05:00

During the time I spent at the Iris compound, I spent as much time as possible in what is called the Baby House. The Baby House is essentially where the toddlers live. You can go and play with them on their playground, or help get them all fed at meals, or just hold them after their baths before bed. During certain times, you could take individual kids out to get some one-on-one times. This is where the Lord really drew and broke my heart. I miss these precious children more than I thought was possible!!!

This is two year old Chelsia. If I could, I would have brought her home. She has my heart and I think of her all the time. Her birthday is in just a couple of days!! Missing her...

The little girls LOVED having their nails painted = )

Steph with Marta, another super sweet little girl. One of my strongest memories of her is walking into the Baby House and making eye contact with her. She looked at me with those big eyes, pointed to herself and whispered, "Me?" WOW... Nothing will break your heart quite like that. Marta, I declare that God has CHOSEN YOU. He picks you. You are not rejected or leftover. You are His princess!!!

We let Marta and Chelsia help us bake a cake one day. They were SO serious about it, and you should have seen their faces when we let them try the icing. I don't think they've ever had that much sugar!

Jesse also grew really close to some of the children in the Baby House. This little guy was his buddy = )

LOOK AT THAT SMILE! Ernesto had a giggle and smile like you couldn't believe. He and his friend were major charmers.

Catching bubbles!

Remember, if you would like to sponsor a child through Iris Ministries, you can go to https://www.irismin.org/giving-center.

The Village of Takka

2011-07-28T11:21:00.012-05:00

The first overnight outreach I went on was to a village called Takka. It was by far one of my favorite experiences while I was in Mozambique. We pitched tents and spent the weekend playing with kids and breaking bread with the pastor and his family. I wish I could capture some of the moments that will always be engrained in my mind... Sitting outside and looking at the stars with nothing to do but talk to my amazing team members... Sifting through beans by lamp light for the church dinner... Singing "The Body of Jesus" by lamp light while holding hands with some of the most beautiful people... It was an unforgettable experience. Such a beautiful village!!

{more posts to come SOON}

Children's Day

2011-07-27T13:26:00.006-05:00

At Iris Ministries, June 1 is a holiday that rivals Christmas. They call it Children's Day, and it's just that-- a day all for kids. All the children receive gift packages, and that evening there is a big special dinner and program. Iris also brings in children from the Bocaria (the local trash dump) and include them in the festivities (they get presents too!) Excitement buzzes in the air that day. With so many children, little is done to celebrate birthdays, so this acts as a sort of "Every Kid's Birthday" holiday. Everyone loves it. It was so much fun getting to be a part of it while we were there!

Blueberries

2011-07-27T11:58:00.003-05:00

I have this affinity for pictures of hands holding things. I spent last week in Maine with my family and cousins. One day while hiking, my cousins found a bunch of blueberry patches. Goodness, those things were GOOD. I've never gotten to taste a blueberry right off the bush before, but I could get used to it = ). I grabbed this picture of my cousin with a handful of blueberries and it just makes me smile. Our Creator has created so many fun colors, textures and flavors. He's so fun!

Spring Rains

2011-05-23T22:54:00.004-05:00

I leave for Mozambique in less than a week. It's been raining excessively, and it makes me so peaceful. Tonight, I read and listen to the sound of rain, thunder and Fleet Foxes. Life is good.

Jesus Let Me See Your Eyes

2011-05-12T12:24:00.000-05:00

I want to be caught up in Your embrace. I want to feel your arms around me. I want to be heavenly minded. I want to see with Your eyes. I want to forever be lost in You.

Mozambique T-Shirts

2011-05-03T16:38:00.005-05:00

Hi friends!

This week I am taking orders for t-shirts to help raise money for my trip to Mozambique. There are two designs...

Lionel the Lion

OR

Geoffrey the Giraffe!

The shirts are a brand that is comparable to the American Apparel 50/25/25 crew necks. We are selling them for $15 each. AND to top it off, it's ALL PROFIT! So every shirt bought will be a significant help to get us to Mozambique!! If you would like one, you can message me on Facebook OR email me at makenzisworldtravels@yahoo.com. I will help get payments and orders straightened out from there. We have a limited number of shirts for the first order so hurry and let me know if you want one! Thanks so much!!

More Information...

2011-04-30T11:09:00.002-05:00

In only 29 days my team and I will be on our way to Mozambique! I thought I'd give a little more info about the trip so you can be praying. We don't know the specifics of what we'll be doing while we're there. We are just going to be put to use however they need us! HOWEVER, the team there sent us a packet, and it included some of the ministry activities we'll likely be involved in...

Bocaria (Garbage Dump) Children's Ministry: Every Wednesday, the Bocaria ministry involves Bible teaching games and songs and the opportunity to talk and pray with the children of the area.

Khongolote and Machava Children's Center: These are two children's centers where we can go to spend time with children. While there we will play games, pray, possibly preach and work to bless the workers however we can.

Bush Outreaches:Each weekend the revival team takes groups for day trips and overnight trips in the bush. These outreaches obviously involve evangelism and ministry in more remote communities.

Street Ministry: Every Tuesday and Wednesday evening, groups (including the children who live in the Center), have an outreach into the city of Maputo. These involve church services with the homeless and local people, ministry in the prisons as well as ministering to those we meet.

I know that this only touches all the things we will have opportunities to do. I'M SO EXCITED!!!! I can't wait to see how God moves. I've been reading, "There Is Always Enough" by Rolland and Heidi Baker. It is a book about the beginnings of their ministry in Mozambique, and it is changing the way I look at God. I can't wait to be out there. If you are looking for a good book to read... I HIGHLY recommend it. Thank you all for all of your prayers and support!!

Blessings!
Makenzi

MOZAMBIQUE!!

2011-04-16T21:23:00.003-05:00

Okay so this is a little late in coming BUT this June I'M GOING TO MAPUTO, MOZAMBIQUE with a group from my church. I am SO EXCITED!!!! Life is too crazy and busy right now for me to give many details BUT if you're interested in helping me get there, please email me at makenzisworldtravels@yahoo.com. I'll make sure and email you back with the info = ) In the near future, I'll write more about what my trip is going to look like. However, I wanted to let you all know that little detail about my life. Here are two team pictures....

Team members are...
Payton, Adam, Jeremy, Jesse, Jenny, Rachel, Katey, Stephanie, Heather, Kelsey, Kevin, and me!!

So thankful for everyone's prayers. You all are such an encouragement to me = )

More later!

Makenzi the Bold

2011-04-01T12:38:00.002-05:00

Last spring, I hit a turning point in my life. It happened one night after a school event. Insecure and hating to mingle, I quickly dashed back up to my dorm. I knew I was probably missing out by having not stayed around, but I said, "Oh, I'm just shy." I'm just shy. The words I had used as a crutch my entire life. Suddenly, I was fed up with it. I had heard my pastor and a leader within the College saying that we weren't meant to be shy. Sure, some of us are more outgoing or introverted than others. We all have a personality, but God never meant for us to be SHY. If you think about it, that excuse never worked for anyone in the Bible. It was always, "But I'll be with you." So, on that night I decided I was no longer Makenzi the Shy. I was Makenzi the Bold. Since that day I've been declaring that over myself, and it has worked wonders. I am much more confident in group situations than I ever was before. God made me to be His bold daughter. I am meant to boldly proclaim the work of the Lord. I'm also called to community and to a life of joy!! Today, I read something that put this idea into powerful words. I thought I'd share = )

"Our relationship with God is always extrovert. No matter our personality type, we are called at some point to shout, sing aloud, rejoice, dance, and declare enthusiastically who He is for us.... Joy has no introversion. It is exuberant, ardent, earnest, excited, fervent, hearty, lively, wholehearted, and zealous. It is passionate, vehement, and fanatical in it's appreciation, value and impression of God... The point is, we must develop our relationship with God across the extremes of personality. Initially its tough, eventually it's fun. The Father did not make me to be an introvert only. He made me to be an introvert with joyful, passionate, exuberant intimacy."
-Graham Cooke
"Qualities of a Spiritual Warrior

So if you're ever tempted to draw back in insecurity. Or if you think God made you to be shy. NO MORE! Start declaring that you are his bold son or daughter!!!

Journal Entry

2011-03-28T16:56:00.003-05:00

Sorry it's been SO long since I've blogged. This semester has been absolutely crazy as I've added a job to my schedule and have been working around 30 hours a week along with being a full time student and church stuff. Sheesh! But I am loving every minute of it and God is continuing to reveal Himself in new and exciting ways. While I hope to actually blog soon, here is a journal entry from my trip home from San Diego (I went there with my church over Spring Break- another post, another time). Enjoy!

Oh how sweet it is to know God has a marvelous plan. How comforting it is to know He has it all under control. Driving through the deserts of Arizona is an experience unlike any other. There are mountains in the distance but they're shrouded in fog. The sand and bushes stretch on in a seemingly endless fashion. I have a peace that is afraid of no deserts or valleys. The Lion of Judah walks beside me. He chuckles in my ear over the lies of the enemy. He says, "You hear that?" as He smiles at the absurdity of the enemy's puny roars. He is good. Life is good by His side-- my most faithful and kind friend.

His goodness is unending. It never ceases.
Blessings friends!

Makenzi

The Nature of God

2011-01-21T23:16:00.002-06:00

Okay guys... I just want to share a lovely prophetic word from a man named Graham Cooke. This guy is a true prophet. He speaks the heart of God and many of his sermons, etc have been super instrumental in my life. Recently I was introduced to "The Nature of God." I have listened to it so many times that I couldn't begin to give you a count. I really can't help but share it. It's incredible. So I'm going to attach videos of it. It's 20 min long which I know is kind of long, so when you get a chance, kick back, close your eyes, listen, and let God speak to you. Man it's good...

Falling Into Deeper Waters

2011-01-21T22:59:00.003-06:00

Faith. If there is one word to describe this season of life it's faith. It's a time of uncertainty. I haven't the slightest idea what my future is going to look like. All I can do is have faith. God is good. And He gives good gifts. This is a time of character building, trials, molding, and oh so much growth. It can be scary, but it's so so good... So here I am in this season, and I'm taking the plunge. I'm going into deeper waters calling out to Him. He has said that the flood waters will not overwhelm me (Isaiah 43) so I choose to go deeper and deeper. I want to get more lost in Him.

The attached video is the best I could find of a song we've been singing at church lately. I love the lines "We're falling into deeper waters calling out to You" and "I've got a river of living water; a fountain that never will run dry." I'm choosing to take the plunge.

Reasons I'm Excited for This Semester...

2011-01-20T11:29:00.002-06:00

As a new semester begins, there is SO much to look forward to. Here are a few of the things on the TOP of my list...

(1) Awaken Conference- This weekend my church is hosting a conference and I'm soooo excited. If you're interested in coming, you can get info about it at www.awaken-conference.com
(2) Valentine's Party- This year's Valentines party with the girls is shaping up to be suuuper fun... More details to follow = )
(3) ACM Norman's Spring Break Trip "Revive"- I didn't go on this trip last year, but this year I'm packing up and heading out to San Diego to bring the kingdom with my sweet friends
(4) Passion Fort Worth- For the first time ever I'm getting to go to Passion!!! I've been wanting to do this for yeeearrrs now, and FINALLY I get to go this year!! My bestie Megan and I are going to Passion Fort Worth this April and it will be unforgettable = )
(5) New Year, Clean Slate- I'm so excited about having a brand new year to see God write my story on. I'm looking forward to seeing what He has planned!!

Bring it on Spring 2011!
Bahahah yes... I did just say that...

Headed to Colorado

2011-01-12T13:37:00.004-06:00

In a few hours, my family and I are heading to the airport and flying to Colorado! I'm so, so excited to spend some time with them and get a few great days of refreshment in before starting another crazy semester. I wanted to make some goals for myself on this trip to make sure that I remain intentional. Here they go!

(1.) Read at least two books (Emma and Celebration of Discipline)
(2.) Go on a date with Chan to get in some more sister time before we get crazy and never see each other = (
(3.) Go on morning walks with Jesus
(4.) Meet somebody
(5.) Attempt to capture the beauty of winter in a picture or two

Five is good. They may seem simple, but I'll report back on whether or not I do them. I hope you all are having a wonderful last week of break for those who are still off school and a great first week back to those who aren't. And to all of you who aren't even in school... Well I hope you're having a good week! Hah

"W" Looking Pants

2011-01-09T23:30:00.003-06:00

Tonight my family an I watched home videos. Last Christmas we had all of our videos put onto DVDs and I love watching them together. But tonight one of the scenes gave me something to think about... It opened to a 3 year old me crying and Mom talking to me. After listening for a moment you realize that I'm upset because in a picture I drew, the pants looked like a "W" so I got angry and "teared it up.". Both Mom and Dad are trying to make me feel better, reasoning with me that I draw very well for a 3 year old etc etc. However, you can tell they're trying not to laugh. Finally I just curled up in Mom's lap and wanted to be held.

I couldn't help but think about how God must see us and our problems. We act like the world is coming to an end, and may even feel that way. He isn't condescending or rude. He doesn't tell us to shut up because our problems are no big deal. Rather, seeing that we're making a fuss out of something that is going to turn out okay in the end, He reasons with us, speaks identity over us, asks us to go try again, and finally welcomes us when we go to be held. He knows it's going to be alright. He sees the big picture. He has a plan. He isn't stressing out about what to do or how he's going to fix our big mistake. All He does is listen and love. Man, that's a beautiful picture. I had to share. Hopefully it touched you like it did me. So if you ever feel like everything is going wrong, remember the "W pants" and run to Abba. He'll take care of it...

Things Babies Born in 2011 Will Never Know

2011-01-07T16:58:00.002-06:00

I came across this article on yahoo, and while it was humorous, I also found it so sad!! I thought I'd share...

Video tape: Starting this year, the news stories we produce here at Money Talks have all been shot, edited, and distributed to TV stations without ever being on any kind of tape. Not only that, the tape-less broadcast camera we use today offers much higher quality than anything that could have been imagined 10 years ago -- and cost less than the lens on the camera we were using previously.

Travel agents: While not dead today, this profession is one of many that's been decimated by the Internet. When it's time for their honeymoon, will those born in 2011 be able to find one?

The separation of work and home: When you're carrying an email-equipped computer in your pocket, it's not just your friends who can find you -- so can your boss. For kids born this year, the wall between office and home will be blurry indeed.

Books, magazines, and newspapers: Like video tape, words written on dead trees are on their way out. Sure, there may be books -- but for those born today, stores that exist solely to sell them will be as numerous as record stores are now.
I REFUSE TO LET THIS ONE HAPPEN!!!

Movie rental stores: You actually got in your car and drove someplace just to rent a movie?

Watches: Maybe as quaint jewelry, but the correct time is on your smartphone, which is pretty much always in your hand.

Paper maps: At one time these were available free at every gas station. They're practically obsolete today, and the next generation will probably have to visit a museum to find one.

Wired phones: Why would you pay $35 every month to have a phone that plugs into a wall? For those born today, this will be a silly concept.

Long distance: Thanks to the Internet, the days of paying more to talk to somebody in the next city, state, or even country are limited.

Newspaper classifieds: The days are gone when you have to buy a bunch of newsprint just to see what's for sale.

Dial-up Internet: While not everyone is on broadband, it won't be long before dial-up Internet goes the way of the plug-in phone.
THANK YOU JESUS

Encyclopedias: Imagine a time when you had to buy expensive books that were outdated before the ink was dry. This will be a nonsense term for babies born today.

Forgotten friends: Remember when an old friend would bring up someone you went to high school with, and you'd say, "Oh yeah, I forgot about them!" The next generation will automatically be in touch with everyone they've ever known even slightly via Facebook.
So, so true...

Forgotten anything else: Kids born this year will never know what it was like to stand in a bar and incessantly argue the unknowable. Today the world's collective knowledge is on the computer in your pocket or purse. And since you have it with you at all times, why bother remembering anything?

The evening news: The news is on 24/7. And if you're not home to watch it, that's OK -- it's on the smartphone in your pocket.

CDs: First records, then 8-track, then cassette, then CDs -- replacing your music collection used to be an expensive pastime. Now it's cheap(er) and as close as the nearest Internet connection.

Film cameras: For the purist, perhaps, but for kids born today, the word "film" will mean nothing. In fact, even digital cameras -- both video and still -- are in danger of extinction as our pocket computers take over that function too.

Yellow and White Pages: Why in the world would you need a 10-pound book just to find someone?

Catalogs: There's no need to send me a book in the mail when I can see everything you have for sale anywhere, anytime. If you want to remind me to look at it, send me an email.

Fax machines: Can you say "scan," ".pdf" and "email?"

One picture to a frame: Such a waste of wall/counter/desk space to have a separate frame around each picture. Eight gigabytes of pictures and/or video in a digital frame encompassing every person you've ever met and everything you've ever done -- now, that's efficient. Especially compared to what we used to do: put our friends and relatives together in a room and force them to watch what we called a "slide show" or "home movies."

Wires: Wires connecting phones to walls? Wires connecting computers, TVs, stereos, and other electronics to each other? Wires connecting computers to the Internet? To kids born in 2011, that will make as much sense as an electric car trailing an extension cord.

Hand-written letters: For that matter, hand-written anything. When was the last time you wrote cursive? In fact, do you even know what the word "cursive" means? Kids born in 2011 won't -- but they'll put you to shame on a tiny keyboard.

Talking to one person at a time: Remember when it was rude to be with one person while talking to another on the phone? Kids born today will just assume that you're supposed to use texting to maintain contact with five or six other people while pretending to pay attention to the person you happen to be physically next to.

Retirement plans: Yes, Johnny, there was a time when all you had to do was work at the same place for 20 years and they'd send you a check every month for as long as you lived. In fact, some companies would even pay your medical bills, too!

Mail: What's left when you take the mail you receive today, then subtract the bills you could be paying online, the checks you could be having direct-deposited, and the junk mail you could be receiving as junk email? Answer: A bloated bureaucracy that loses billions of taxpayer dollars annually.

Commercials on TV: They're terrifically expensive, easily avoided with DVRs, and inefficiently target mass audiences. Unless somebody comes up with a way to force you to watch them -- as with video on the Internet -- who's going to pay for them?

Commercial music radio: Smartphones with music-streaming programs like Pandora are a better solution that doesn't include ads screaming between every song.

Hiding: Not long ago, if you didn't answer your home phone, that was that -- nobody knew if you were alive or dead, much less where you might be. Now your phone is not only in your pocket, it can potentially tell everyone -- including advertisers -- exactly where you are.

My Website!

2011-01-06T17:52:00.003-06:00

For the past couple of months I've been working on a website for my photography business, and I am happy to announce that TODAY my website has officially gone live!! Go check it out people... And give me some feedback = )

www.makenziryannephotography.com

2011

2011-01-04T22:40:00.004-06:00

I told myself I wasn't going to make a New Year's Resolution list this year... Not because I have no vision or no goals, but because I rarely end up accomplishing my goals!! But... Alas, I have changed my mind... First, let's check out which of last year's resolutions I accomplished..

Completed 2010 Resolutions...
1. Started a photoblog for my photography business... Not only that, but I worked on a REAL website () and will be going live THIS WEEK!!!
2. I raised my GPA (barely, but hey I did it)
3. I took a ballet class
4. "Know God in a more intimate way, talking to Him as a constant companion and best friend" By the grace of God, I can honestly say that I got closer to my Creator, and for that I am truly thankful.

The rest of my resolutions largely dealt with traveling, which I only had so much control over. SO I guess I was actually fairly successful this past year. Woohoo!!

And now I present to you 2011's Resolutions... (Drumroll please...)
1. Become more frugal.
2. ~~Plant a garden~~ (I realized that being gone most of the summer might kill that idea)
3. Join the Siesta Sister Scripture Memory Team
4. Cross 10 books off my 1001 Books to Read list

Wow guys... I'm really sorry, but that's all I've got!!! There are a few more between me and God, but I'm not going to share those.

If you've got any suggestions for me... PLEASE SHARE! I'm feelin' pretty pathetic at the moment!!

2010 In Review

2011-01-04T22:25:00.002-06:00

Abba,

Thank you for carrying me through this past year. Thank you for ending my year with laughter. Thank you for the relationships you blessed me with, the vision you've given me, the joy you've poured on me, the love you've lavished upon me, the opportunities you've allowed me to have...

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28

"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today."
Genesis 50:20

"The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance."
Psalm 16:6

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you..."
Jeremiah 29:11-14

Thank you for taking what the enemy meant for evil and making it good... Oh so good. Thank you for giving me hope. Thank you for taking care of my past, present, and future. You are a good God. Worthy of praise much better than I shall ever be able to give. Above all, thank you for continuing with me into this next year.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU HAVE IN STORE FOR ME THIS YEAR.

Your daughter,
Your beloved,
Your lioness,

Makenzi

Set Apart

2010-12-31T11:16:00.003-06:00

"The kingdom of darkness strives through pressure on the mind and the spirit, to neutralize, lead astray, and smooth down strong personalities so that they become apathetic about what is happening around them. [The Nazirite is not to be drunk with wine.] Drunkenness is not only from alcohol, but also from, for example, excessive television watching to a consuming interest in sports. Drugs, pornography, rich music, sport and other forms of entertainment all work together to pacify and neutralize nations, particularly young people. they create politically apathetic personalities, all in accordance with the deliberate plan from the kingdom of darkness. The more and longer a personality is controlled by the Holy Spirit the wider becomes his usefulness as an instrument. Some articles, says Paul, are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. 'If a man cleanses himself from the latter he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work. Flee the evil desires of youth' [2 Timothy 2:21-22]. A person who gives parts of his life to the influence of the kingdom of darkness does not, it is true, limit his eternal salvation, but he does limit his usefulness for the Lord's purpose... A special mission demands a special holiness."
-The Prophetic Church
by Kjell Skoberg

The Root of Self-Hatred

2010-12-31T10:24:00.003-06:00

If you don't already know, I'm at One Thing in Kansas City, Missouri right now. Last night a man named Allen Hood BROUGHT IT and I HAVE to share! He approached the root of self-hatred as I've never heard it approached. Let's see if I can sum this up...

"I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel." Genesis 3:15

When man fell, God made it known that He was sending His son through a woman- through a human body. Out of a human body would come the incarnate God to CRUSH the great rebellion of Satan. Because of this, Satan HATES the human body. He hates it!! So what does he do? He defiles it with sickness, with hunger, with perversion. He loves to see us sin against our body with a poor body image, sexual immorality, self-destruction. He wants to see you hate your body like he does. And these lies have infiltrated our culture. Bathrooms have become false places of worship where Satan feeds us lies then steals our dignity. We need to stop spending so much time in front of the mirror and realize that we are letting a demon of fear speak to us about our identity and especially about our future spouse. We need to tear down alters and demonic powers from lies of the enemy. We need to renounce self-hatred in the name of Jesus and receive the blood of Jesus. It's time for us to bless our bodies. It's time to redeem our bathrooms by speaking His truth, His word and His praises that it might become a place of worship rather than of temptation. It's time to stop wearing rags and start wearing the robes of royalty!!

"The king will desire your beauty... All glorious is the princess in her chamber with robes interwoven with gold. In many colored robes she is led to the king... With joy and flatness they are led along as they enter the palace of the king." Psalm 45:11,13-15

False Identity vs True Identity

2010-12-30T00:45:00.002-06:00

So God led me to Daniel today and right off the back something rocked my world. I wanted to share...

"Among these were Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah of the tribe of Judah. And the chief of the eunuchs gave them names: Daniel he called Belteshazzar, Hananiah he called Shadrach, Mishael he called Meshach, and Azariah he called Abednego." Daniel 1:6-7

So here's the fascinating thing about this. As I read that I began wondering what the Hebrew names and the new names meant. Gods been teaching me a lot about names lately (try asking God what He is calling you right now then look up the meaning of the name. It's fuuunn). So anyway I looked up the meanings and...

i. The name Daniel (meaning God is my judge) was changed to Belteshazzar (meaning Bel’s prince).

ii. The name Hannaniah (meaning Beloved by the LORD) was changed to Shadrach (meaning Illumined by Sun-god).

iii. The name Mishael (meaning Who is as God) was changed to Meshach (meaning Who is like Venus).

iv. The name Azariah (meaning The LORD is my help) was changed to Abed-Nego (meaning Servant of Nego).

Here's what I found fascinating. SATAN LOVES YOU SPEAK AN IDENTITY OVER YOU THAT IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT GOD HAS. If God calls you a prophet, Satan loves to curse your dreams and make you desire to be dreamless. When God calls you Beloved, Satan says "No, you need someone else to make you happy- to illuminate you." It's time to reject the false identities Satan is speaking over the children of God. It's time to live in the light!!

Persepolis

2010-12-25T20:33:00.002-06:00

December has been SO crazy. Buuut finals are done and break is here = ). The result is that I will be reading MUCH more. The first book(s) I present to you are Persepolis and Persepolis 2 by Marjane Satrapi. I absolutely recommend these. They are auto-biographical graphic novels from the point of view of an Iranian woman who grew up with during the Islamic Revolution. They were eye-opening and enjoyable. I had never finished a graphic novel before (the only other one I had ever started was The Watchman). I don't even really know how to describe how much perspective these gave me. Seriously just go read them... Or at the very least rent the movie. So good!!

The Robinsons

2010-12-07T17:02:00.008-06:00

My church (Antioch Community Church Norman) has a training school called Equip. It's an incredible 10 months of well.. equipping one for a life of ministry. This year a couple with three kids decided to join. They asked me to babysit and I have had SO MUCH FUN getting to know these kids. Seriously, Monday is one of my favorite nights of the week. I love these kids with my whole stinkin' heart. I thought I'd share some of my pictures with them!

Jade and I at her 2nd grade program.

Noah wanted in on the fun hahaha

Jade giving a testimony at church with her mom about how she led someone to Christ during recess at school

Noah at his "Shark Attack" soccer game

Noah and his blue mouthwash

Carving pumpkins = )

That Time I Turned 20...

2010-12-07T00:54:00.009-06:00

It's hard to believe I'm out of the teens and into the 20s... But it's here. I'm officially 20. I thought I'd share some pictures from my various birthday celebrations this year. Virginia, Cheesecake Factory, Ice Skating party that my roomies planned. It was a good birthday = )

First I celebrated in Virginia with the Reynolds!

Nuryia was pretty stinkin' excited I got Toy Story 3 hahaha

Birthday dinner at Cheesecake Factory with the family! (and Abbey haha)

Ashley Lynch (the girl who disciples me) and I!

Me and the roomies = ) (Koby and Rachel)

Me, Julie, Koby, and Rachel

Pretty much the whole crew = )

Laminin

2010-12-05T12:55:00.002-06:00

"And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together." Colossians 1:17

When I first went to see a doctor about my depression, they told me I needed to go buy this video at Mardels and watch it. It changed my life. [Sidenote: I have been SO BLESSED with Christian doctors throughout this stage of my life. WOW.] I think about this video a lot, but today my pastor showed it as part of our series on Colossians. Please watch it and be encouraged. It's INCREDIBLE!!!

The Body of Christ

2010-12-05T12:52:00.002-06:00

The body of Christ is beautiful. One of my favorite Bible stories has always been that of Moses having his weary arms held up by his friends Aaron and Hur. What a picture of community! When we get too weary to press on by ourselves, the body is there to help us keep going. I love it. Today at church we got together and held each other's arms up and prayed over each other. Absolutely beautiful. I felt the Spirit sweeping through the auditorium. Abba, thank you for the body of Christ...

Lioness

2010-11-28T23:03:00.005-06:00

Thank you to Caroline
[whose blog can be found here ]
for introducing me to this beautiful quote...

'And Aslan turned and said to Lucy, 'If you were any braver, you'd be a lioness.'"
-CS Lewis
[The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe]

Praise Him

2010-11-26T09:45:00.003-06:00

I had a beautiful Thanksgiving yesterday. I wanted to take a moment to list many things I'm thankful for- not just today but eternally. Praise be to Him...

1. I'm thankful for the love of God that goes on and on, overwhelming my soul
2. I'm thankful for family that wants to see me find life abundantly
3. I'm thankful for roommates who are always willing to let me vent, hold me while I cry, pray together before bed, and dance- whether its to Kanye or a worship song
4. I'm thankful for old friends whose friendship only grows deeper as the years go on.
5. I'm thankful for new friends who make my life more exciting, teach me new things and bless me daily
6. I'm thankful for my lifegroup that always supports and loves me
7. I'm thankful for my pastor and the other leadership of Antioch
8. I'm thankful for the Robinsons and the time I get to spend with them every Monday
9. I'm thankful for children
10. I'm thankful for the times when I've wanted to give up
11. I'm thankful for hopeless nights
12. I'm thankful for those nights when God met me in my brokenness and spoke hope over me
13. I'm thankful for Ashley who disciples me
14. I'm thankful for Rachel for helping lead me to freedom in Christ
15. I'm thankful for ballet
16. I'm thankful for the work of the Spirit in Norman, at OU, and all around the world
17. I'm thankful for robins
18. I'm thankful for my trip to India
19. I'm thankful that my heart has been broken
20. I'm thankful that I've been restored
21. I'm thankful that I now have a greater capacity to love and empathize
22. I'm thankful for those who are forging new paths in new places for the sake of Christ
23. I'm thankful for my sister who I see growing into a woman of God
24. I'm thankful for my camera
25. I'm thankful for tears
26. I'm thankful for laughter
27. I'm thankful for people who have helped me reach the place I am today- mentors, pastors, teachers and those who led by example
28. I'm thankful for new opportunities
29. I'm thankful to be surrounded by people who I love and who love me- So much more than I deserve
30. I'm thankful for my identity in Christ. I am a new creation. The old is gone. I am loved. I am worthy. I am worth it. No one else can love Him like I can. I am unique. I am called. I am gifted. I am beautiful. I have a mothers heart. I am faithful. I am pure. I can be only good. I carry the presence. I am a light. I am radiant. I'm a steamboat : ) I am loved. I'm a daughter. I capture the Kings heart. HE LOVES ME!!

Praise Him forevermore for HE IS GOOD.
He makes all things work together for good.
He makes everything beautiful in time.
He doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called.
Every good and perfect gift comes from Him
PRAISE HIM

I Am A Soul

2010-11-22T09:35:00.002-06:00

"You don't have a soul. You ARE a soul. You have a body."
-CS Lewis

I was thinking about this quote yesterday. The implications of it astound me. I feel like I'm often really vague on my blog, but sometimes it's just too hard to put my deepest thoughts into words on a blog. If anyone reads this and has thoughts concerning it. Please share!! For me it changes the way I approach my interactions with others and my priorities. What does it make you stop and think about?

Consequence of the Law

2010-11-06T11:24:00.004-05:00

Here's something for you to chew on...

"For by works of the law no human being will be justified in His sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin." Romans 3:20

"For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.... Then the eys of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the gardn. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, 'Where are you?' And he said, 'I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.' He said, 'Who told you that you were naked?'" Genesis 3:5,7-11

[to be continued]

Stress and Blessings

2010-11-04T14:54:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I've overwhelmed with where I'm heading... Not that I really know where that is BUT let me explain... So many days I miss being a child. The stress level was so low! I think about how I would spend Saturdays (or really everyday) playing computer games, reading, living in one of my imaginary worlds (I still live in some of them when I'm just in need of some good ole imagination), or playing with my toys. How relaxing does that sound?? Breakfast, lunch and dinner was always provided. You got recess. Man, what the life!! I think about how stressful life seems sometimes... Like right now when I'm enrolled in 19 hours, working around 15 hours a week, and trying to spend as much time with my family (both biological and Church) as possible. And then I think about how life is only going to get MORE stressful. That's a scary thought!! Then I stop... And realize that God gives us just what we need whenever we need it. He gives us strength for each day. He gives us friends who help to carry our burdens. He gives us mentors to help guide us. HE GIVES US HIS PRESENCE. He gives us moments of laughter. Peaceful rains. HE GIVES REST FOR THE WEARY. Mmm I'm so blessed by Him. I'm blessed to get to attend the school I do. I'm blessed with a family who loves me. I'm blessed with two amazing roommates. I'm blessed with more friends than I deserve. I'm blessed with a major that's perfect for me. I'm blessed to work with children who show me the love and heart and power of God. I'm blessed to be on this journey with Him... Living in this unbelievable love story. He leads me with cords of kindness (Hosea 11). He's so good. Blessings to anyone who reads this!!

His Lavish Love

2010-11-03T16:21:00.003-05:00

Christmas is just around the corner (in 52 days to be exact), and today, God is painting me a beautiful picture of something. Ashley Lynch, who has recently begun discipling me, was asking whether I believed that God had an UNBELIEVABLE FUTURE in store for me. She went on to say that He is sitting on the edge of His seat and can't wait to show me what's next. Goodness gracious, after she said that, God just started speaking all sorts of His excitement to me. Here is the best way I can explain what He was saying to me... You know those kids who are terrible at keeping secrets because they're SO excited to give you the gift they've gotten for you (Yes YOU Chandler)? That's how I see God. GRANTED, He knows how to keep a secret, but He is giddy with excitement to lead you to all that He has prepared. He has a hope and a future. He wants the EXTRAORDINARY. Isn't that great?? It makes ME giddy, too. I hear United Pursuit's prophetic lyrics...

Come Away
by United Pursuit Band

Come away with me
Come away.
It's never too late
It's never too late
It's not too late for you.
I have a plan for you.
I have a plan.
It's gonna be WILD.
It's gonna be GREAT.
It's gonna be FULL OF ME.

Bah!!! I just want to start dancing around here in the library... I'll try to refrain, but isn't that great?! He is SO GOOD!!!!!! How can I even try to focus on anything else when He's distracting me with His goodness?? This love story is the best of all... So I leave you now with a smile on my face hoping my joy has been contagious! Go ask Him to tell you how much He loves you. He's absolutely dying to = )

BEAUTIFUL Realization

2010-10-30T12:27:00.003-05:00

Today was... A day to mark down in history. Today my soul was restored in SO many areas. I feel this remarkable peace. One of the most mind-boggling revelations is that God didn't cause my pain. He didn't take him away as punishment. His heart broke along with mine. He ached when He saw my pain. His desire was to hold me and speak TRUE PROMISES that He would make beauty from ashes, joy from mourning, good from evil. These things are truly too amazing for me to soak in. I'm amazed. I feel the shock factor of love.

TODAY...
On October 29, 2010... I found peace. May I never forget this day.

The Bizzell

2010-10-20T17:30:00.002-05:00

Whether it's because our internet has been messed up at the house, or it's mid-term so I'm working my tail off, I have been at the library SO much lately. Everyday I've been here for hours. I love studying here though. I'm surrounded by books of all sorts. I can't wrap my mind around how much knowledge this building holds. Mmm as I write that sentence I'm reminded of John 21:25... "THere are so many other things Jesus did. If they were all written down, each of them, one by one, I can't imagine a world big enough to hold such a library of books." Is that good or what?! Wow that gives context to the rows and rows, and floors and floors of books I'm surrounded by. I've learned not to study on the floor that houses all the literary books. I can get caught up in all the poetry and studies of the authors. SO I've placed myself in the upper corner of the library where few people dare to come = ). It's in the science section so I'm not nearly as tempted hah! I love college campuses. Today I've worked my butt off at ballet, studied for Pre-Calc and Spanish, had lunch with a friend, chatted with a Latin teacher, run into my sweet roomie at her Health Hut and had a nice little chat, taken a Spanish test, had a chai tea latte, and now am working on an annotated bibliography of an article about Christina Rossetti's "Goblin Market." Good stuff. I'm getting really into my study of "Goblin Market." In fact, I think I've decided to write a close reading on the poem as well as write my final paper on it. I find it THAT interesting. There's just so much to go into and give my opinion on!! I love it. Well there's just a quick look into my life lately. It had been a while so I decided to update all of you in the blogosphere = )

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

2010-10-10T13:30:00.002-05:00

Wow. Just put down this book after finishing it. It was incredible. It deals with some rough topics, but if you're up for it, I recommend. Written by Swedish author, Steig Larsson, it's original Swedish title was "Men Who Hate Women." It's a mystery that deals heavily with sadism. I had been tipped by someone that it was going to be hard to read because of the content. Halfway through I thought that they must be wrong, but then the plot line really got going. Larsson was a fantastic writer. His format is intriguing and keeps you interested.

Basic plotline (without any spoilers)... Mikael Blomkvist is hired by Henrik Vanger, head of a major Swedish corporation that has long been family owned and run. He is given the job of writing a biography on the Vanger family, while secretly looking into (and attempting to solve) the mystery of what happened to Henrik's niece Harriet who had disappeared 40 years before. As Blomkvist goes about his job, he finds it goes much deeper than anyone ever imagined.

The style reminded me a lot of Dan Brown's writing style, except Larsson deals with much heavier topics (and doesn't stir up trouble with bogus claims). It gets you thinking and forces you to address some things that happen around the world every day. I'm looking forward to reading the next book in the series, "The Girl Who Played With Fire". So there's that!

A Beautiful Inheritance

2010-09-25T23:35:00.002-05:00

It's absolutely astounding how much one's life can change in just one year... It blows my mind away. I keep wanting to reiterate that in 28 different ways, but I'll stop. This day, 1 year ago, I thought would change my life forever. Perhaps it did. Just not in the way I expected it to. My verse for this month has been Psalm 16:5-6 specifically for this day. It says...

"The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance."

I LOVE this verse. In the past year, I have gone through some of, if not the HARDEST things I've yet experienced. But I've chosen the Lord. HE is my portion. He is my sustenance. He gets me through each day. He's broken my heart with His love. He's taken me through the fire but not let me be burned. He's only refined me. It also says He holds my lot. MY LOT-- all the uncertainties, all the gambles, all the hidden things-- He has them ALL taken care of!! And the most beautiful part of it all? Each night as the dust begins to settle, I see where the lines have fallen and I can say that they have fallen in PLEASANT PLACES. I have the BEAUTIFUL inheritance. He is good. All of Him is everything my heart can desire.

Yes, this year has been hard, but I wouldn't ask to change it if I was given the option. I am confident that all of this is for my good. It is for my best. His love never fails. He's my Shepherd. My Love. And I am His...

My Sweet Community

2010-09-15T17:30:00.013-05:00

One of the biggest blessings God has given me this past year was the community I found within Antioch Community Church. I can not say enough good things about the people I have met there and the leadership of the church. We recently moved from Sooner Theater to the Norman North performing arts center. Here are some pictures of our first Sunday along with some sweet times with my lifegroup so far this year = )

Koby and Heatherrrr

I don't know... Rachel being Rachel?

Bo being the Antioch poster child

Me and Julie!

Heather and Kevin making pancakes and eggs at Lifegroup = )

It was really cool because our lifegroup played kickball one Saturday and some other people joined us. That's Acts 2:42-27 in action = )

Jenny and Payton

Blue Genes

2010-09-13T08:10:00.002-05:00

EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS BOOK.

I'm serious about this. It's an easy read and it sheds SO MUCH light on the issue of God, the church, and mental illness. It deals with anything from depression, bipolar disorder, ADHD, and even dreams. It was so eye-opening. I can't talk enough about this book. PLEASE everyone... Order this book and read it. Man... So good...

My Roomies

2010-09-12T14:15:00.002-05:00

Thought it was about time to introduce you to my sweet roommates Koby and Rachel. They mean the world to me, and I am blessed beyond belief to be living with them this year. That's all for now but I wanted to share this picture and give a quick introduction! = )

Restorer of All Things

2010-09-09T17:13:00.002-05:00

I was studying Joel this morning and God really rocked me with this verse. Building up to it God has sent two plagues of locusts to get the Israelites' attention. Then after telling them to repent, He says...

"I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you. You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you... In those days I will pour out my Spirit." (Joel 2:25-26,29)

HE RESTORES ALL THINGS. Is this rocking you?? Every moment that seems wasted by trials, every pain that makes no sense, every night you spent crying- HE WILL RESTORE TO YOU. So praise His Name and be satisfied. He has dealt WONDROUSLY and He is pouring His Spirit out on you!! Live in that truth!

The Power of Words and the Wonder of God

2010-09-08T07:53:00.004-05:00

Despite my crazy schedule, I've managed to finish another book that I will share with you all! I stumbled across it in the Second Baptist bookstore when I was in Houston visiting the Harrisons. It is a series of lectures given at a "Desiring God" conference that occurred in 2008 or 2009 I believe. Desiring God is a ministry run by John Piper whom I'm sure many of you have heard of. Anyway, each lecture focuses on some aspect of our words and how they relate to God. There are only 6 lectures- some which I enjoyed immensely and others which I honestly skimmed/skipped over. However, I'll try to give a brief synopsis of each...

(1.) "War of Words: Getting to the Heart for God's Sake" by Paul David Tripp

This lecture convicted me in a way I was in desperate need of convicting. Tripp points out that nothing you say wasn't already in your heart. We can't use the excuse that we didn't mean it because the Bible clearly states that the words of our mouth originate in our heart. He also knocks down the excuse that the problem isn't OUTSIDE us but INSIDE us. We always try to blame our words and actions on everyone and everything around us. He encourages you to make this "essential confession" of: "I am my greatest communication problem. The greatest difficulty, the greatest danger, and the everyday traps of communication that we all fall into all exist inside of me, not outside of me." He goes on to compare the Kingdom of God and the Kingdom of Self along with the anger that can be produced from each on separately. He is brutally honest about the effect our words can have on others- to build up or break down, sometimes permanently. He ends encouraging us to pray each day saying, "God, I'm a man (woman) in desperate need of help this morning. I pray in your grace that you would send your helpers my way. And I pray that you would give me the humility to receive the help that comes."

His lecture was engaging, convicting, and well written. Definitely in my top three favorite (possibly my very favorite actually).

(2.) "The Bit, the Bridle, and the Blessing: An Exposition of James 3:1-12" by Sinclair B. Ferguson

I don't believe I finished this one. It was in some ways getting at the same point as the above lecture, but it came at it differently. Once again two main points really got my attention...

"How we use our tongues provides clear evidence of where we are spiritually."

"Words can consume and destroy a life."

Yes, those two sentences are enough to make me be silent for a day. Man, break me Lord. May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you!!

(3.) "Is There Christian Eloquence? Clear Words and the Wonder of the Cross" by John Piper

This lecture was very good for a certain audience. It was originally given to a room of pastors (i.e. the certain audience). It compares both historically and Biblically the different methods of preaching, and brings up the question of whether one should focus on eloquence.

(4.) "How Sharp the Edge? Christ, Controversy, and Cutting Words" by Mark Driscoll

In the style of Driscoll, he provides a clear and upfront point of view. He outlines how to deal with the sheep, wolves, swine, and dogs of a congregation. He's famous for his "in your face" style, and he is no different in this lecture. That's something I (and many others) really appreciate about him though. He draws from Scripture along with historical figures such as Luther to make the point that we are not meant to gloss everything over. Sometimes we are called to rebuke others, and that doesn't just mean quietly. Sometimes it requires harshness and perhaps even mocking or harsh language (as is sometimes seen in the Bible). I know there is no way I will do his message justice without saying something he never meant so I encourage you to read this one! Like his other works, it will provide for some laughs. So relax and enjoy it but take it seriously as well! One quote that really stuck for me was "Discernment is knowing what time it is. Courage is doing what the time requires." Love it.

(5.) "Story-shaped Faith" by Daniel Taylor

A literary point of view of faith. Something I can really respect as a fellow appreciator of literature and the story form. He argues that you can make the proposition that "God is powerful" (etc..) but without a story that shows that statement to be true, it will hold little power.

"Belief is a whole-body, whole-life experience. No one believes anything important with the intellect alone... Reason is a powerful tool, bit it is a tool that will serve any master, including the most odoious. We do well to reason as clearly as we can, but we are foolish to pretend that reason alone or any other, single mental function can tell us what is true. what is important what to believe, or how to live... Stories and propositions need each other. Each provides a limit that the other must respect-- a kind of mutual check."

He argued many other really great points. I really enjoyed his lecture. But I can't hit on ALL the good stuff they all said...

(6.) "Words of Wonder: What Happens When We Sing" by Bob Kauflin

I'm sorry to say that I'm just getting a little bored with writing this BUT this was also a great lecture. He covers the importance of music and singing in the church. It's great... But really it is...

So all this to say.... It was a pretty interesting book... Sorry I've gotten so apathetic by the end of this!!

Undivided Heart

2010-08-29T22:28:00.004-05:00

As I sit to write this post, my heart is full of so many emotions! First, I am still overwhelmed with joy over how much fun it was to get to have Chandler, Alex, Nicole, Jake, Spence, Evan, Hunter, Kaci, Lindy and SO MANY MORE with me at church this morning. I LOVE my community and it makes me giddy to share it with others = )

At church this morning, my pastor, Chris Bennett, spoke on loving God. Man, did the Spirit use it to get to a crevice of my heart that needed getting at!! I'm going to hit on a few points that really got to me BUT if you want to listen, go to the following link (if it's not up, it will be soon... It's called "Four Loves").

(1.) "2 I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and found them to be false. 3 I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name's sake, and you have not grown weary. 4 But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. 5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent" (Revelation 2:2-5)

In this passage, Christ is talking to the church of Ephesus. He tells them that He sees all the amazing things they are doing for the Kingdom BUT they have forgotten their first love. We exist to MAKE THE LOVE OF GOD KNOWN. We can get so caught up doing good things and going about our good business, surrounding ourselves with other likeminded people, that we forget to focus on our LOVE and our PURPOSE.

Why does this happen? We claim to love Him and do all the right things, but where do we go wrong??

(2.) "Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name." (Psalm 86:11)

UNITE my heart to fear your name... Make my heart UNDIVIDED towards You.... We may love Him sincerely but also love a list of other things that divides our love for Him. Our question should always be, "Does this help me love God more??" We love God, but become far too easily pleased and content because of our love for other things!!

I know that for me, I get so caught up in my love for other things (books, music, movies, etc) that I'm willing to divide my love and live in the gray... An area that doesn't necessarily help me to love God more.

So the question must be asked, Does my life reflect my confession of loving Him with my whole heart as Deuteronomy 6:4-9 and numerous other passages command? If not, how can I increase my outward expression of my love for Him?? Firstly through obedience as John 14:15 says. Second, starting my day in His presence!! If I start my day with anything other than Him, a million things will get my attention and divide my heart. Starting my day with Him, helps me to start my day with a heart undivided in my love.

A good thing to remember:
Anything I want to do for God will come out of intimacy with Him (John 15:5)

Lord give me a heart of flesh in the areas that have been hardened by a divided heart (Ezekiel 11:18-20)! May I walk out in that love. May I bind it to my heart and may it drip from my mouth as I go about my day! Let it be!!

The Little Prince

2010-08-28T08:07:00.004-05:00

I've been looking forward to writing my first blog post about a book. I'm warning you this isn't from the list I previously posted. If you know me well or you continue to follow this, you will learn I'm not very good at following lists of books. I am generally reading around 5 at once and many I never intended to read yet. So here I am presenting a lovely book that I have previously not mentioned. It's a children's book called The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. If you have never read it- PLEASE DO. I feel like too often we feel like we get to an age that children's literature is no longer for us. I will shamelessly admit that it is my favorite genre. Sometimes I want to pretend I like other genres more (after all I AM in college where everyone has big dreams and aspirations, what kind of person prefers to read children's books and just wants to open a bookstore? ME) but I can't lie, children's books are without a doubt my favorite. One of my best friends gave me this book for Christmas last year with a great inscription in it. (Aren't inscriptions the best??) But anyhow, he asked me recently if I'd read it yet and I realized I hadn't! So for the past week it has been my bubble bath/bedtime read. Here are three things you should know about the book...

(1.) It is a children's book all about childhood. It has the same feeling as Where the Wild Things Are except it is more eloquent, was written a number of decades earlier, and it is much longer.

(2.) The illustrations are BEAUTIFUL

"In order to make his escape, I believe he took advantage of a migration of wild birds."

(3) It was originally written in French by a pilot for the French air force who was shot down over the Mediterranean ocean a year later by a German plane.

Lastly, allow me to leave you with the dedication in the book. It just makes me smile and shows the heart of Saint-Exupéry's work...

"TO LEON WERTH
I ask children to forgive me for dedicating this book to a grown-up. I have a serious excuse: this grown-up is the best friend I have in the world. I have another excuse: this grown-up can understand everything, even books for children. I have a third excuse: he lives in France where he is hungry and cold. He needs to be comforted. If all these excuses are not enough, then I want to dedicate this book to the child whom this grown-up once was. All grown-ups were children first. (but few of them remember it.) So I correct my dedication:
TO LEON WERTH
when he was a little boy..."

Absolutely beautiful. If you never have... PLEASE go pick this up. Find a quiet place where you can allow yourself to think like a child and soak up this wonderful story...

What Possibilities!

2010-08-23T07:39:00.004-05:00

Yesterday at church, my pastor, Chris Bennett, gave us all a little history lesson concerning OU. In 1892, when the first president of OU arrived at the site where the school would be, he looked at the open land (which then contained no trees) and said, "What possibilities!" A devout Christian man, he set up a daily voluntary chapel for the students. Each service was very short. Generally it just contained a couple of songs and a three minute devotion. However, after one devotion about the parable of the sower, an artist created this statue for the school...

It eventually it became part of the school seal, and is an icon on campus. However, so few people know why it's there! The statue represents the seeds of the gospel being sown all around campus. This is the time. This is the year. We see a generation rising up to take there place. We see a near revival stirring as we pray and seek! Join us by praying for our campus. Pray that every believer may rise up, full of fire and spread the good Word. Pray for open hearts! God is so good and I can't wait to see what He's going to do this year and in the years to come! He looks at this city and says "What possibilities!!" We join Him in that declaration.

Yesterday, a large group from my church made up of all ages, met on campus corner. We worshipped there for a while (I'm sure people were so confused) then we walked all the way around campus Jericho style praying over the campus. When we were done we shared our visions for what God was going to do. We prayed over them. Then they had all of the students get in the middle and they just bathed us in prayer. What a blessing!! I am so thankful for the body God has placed all around me. I am blessed, blessed, blessed. Well, off to my first day of sophomore year! Fuego de Dios!

What He's Been Showing Me Lately...

2010-08-18T00:14:00.002-05:00

This is a very interesting stage in my life but God is showing me some great things through it. Here are some of them...

1. There is a time for EVERYTHING.

I know I come back to this concept time and time again, but it just never ceases to speak to me. Right now it is encouraging to me because in the past God called me to remove some things- good things even- from my life so that I may go to the wilderness that He may speak tenderly to me as in the days of my youth (Hosea 2). Ecclesiastes 3 is a promise that God is going to renew those areas of my life in His perfect timing. For now, there is nothing better than to "be joyful and to do good" and remember that "He has made everything beautiful in its time." (Ecc. 3:12, 11)

2. He brings us to the wilderness to prepare us for His plan

Throughout the Bible there are examples of this. Moses is a prime example. He fled to the desert. There he was a shepherd. While the Bible doesn't give a lot of specifications of those years in the desert, I know God was preparing him for the day "I AM" would approach him and speak his destiny over him. I feel like I'm in the desert right now. Not in the sense that my life is dry but that I'm in a time of preparation. I refuse to rush through this season, but also look forward to what my future holds... All His ways and plans are perfect. He is the Author and Perfecter of all things.

3. He gives us talents so that we may prove our faithfulness

I keep looking at that sentence because I'm not sure I said that right. However, hopefully you will know what I mean. We must be stewards of small things before we can be stewards over more. The Lord asked me to step back from some of the things I was stewarding. Now we're starting over again on a much smaller scale. Sometimes I want to jump ahead, but I know this will help me to be much more faithful in the small things and over bigger things when they come. I'm thankful for everything He gives me to steward right now. May I always be grateful for such...

4. He reminds me of His faithfulness when I most need it.

Little example. Today I started a new job. I was moderately excited for this job... Well, mostly for the pay which I expected to be good. However, today turned out to be a very long day during which I made a total of around $15. Slightly discouraging to say the least. So I'm standing in Andy's Alligators in my neon yellow Party Pics polo typing out a text to my mom saying that I wish there was someone in the sorority I was taking pictures of that I knew so it wouldn't be so awkward when a girl walks up, reminds me of her name, and says she goes to Antioch. I just had to smile. Thanks God. Little things like that remind me that you are with me in the mediocre. You never leave my side.

5. Sometimes God doesn't work the way we think He would.

God has a perfect character. Of that, I have no doubt. However, I am convinced that He works in ways we don't/can't understand. I've been thinking a lot about that fact and sin. I have very much been thinking lately about whether His plan for us sometimes involves sin. I'm not sure if I'll be able to make myself clear, but I wonder if... Well it's a tricky tightrope between God allowing us to sin and causing us to sin/tempting us to sin. I believe He never causes us to sin or tempts us to sin. I'm just not sure I'll ever understand, but I am confident that His plan for us often involves the dark places. What that means, I can't say. But through the darkest places, I know He holds our hands and sees the light at the end of the tunnel even when we can't. He sees the good that will come from it- the wisdom we'll be able to pass along, the hurts we'll be able to help others through, and the habits we'll be able to help others avoid. A great verse to illustrate that is Psalm 37:23-24... "The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in His way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand."

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in Him.' The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him." Lamentations 3:22-25

"Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act." Psalms 37:3-5

Coming Soon...

2010-08-13T10:50:00.002-05:00

I try to read regularly... No, correction, I'm really always reading something. However, it seems that I never get as much as I want read. I try not to get overwhelmed with the enormous list of books I want to read and just enjoy what's in my hands at the time. Nevertheless, here is a list of some up and coming books. I'll write little "reviews" as I cross them off the list....

Currently reading:

It's a classic. Somehow I've never read this series, so here we go. I'm halfway through this one and then will continue on to the "Lord of the Rings"...

Up and Coming:

I've heard it's fantastic. REALLY looking forward to this one...

If there's a man from the Bible who understood forgiveness, I say it was without a doubt Joseph. I want to study this man and learn to forgive as he did...

I know close to nothing about this book. However, it seems to be an up and coming series. I'd like to figure out what it's all about.

Every now and then I try to read a solid graphic novel. I watched this movie and really enjoyed it. Therefore, this is the next graphic novel on my list...

I want more of you Jesus...

I've heard that this is a fantastic answer to a growing problem. I live in a confused society. I desire as much wisdom in this area as I can get.

Well... That's what's coming soon. I'm excited!

Life...

2010-08-12T22:04:00.003-05:00

...Is good. I'm so lacking in words for it right now. I feel suspended. I'm content and yet have a deep longing. I just want to sit in His presence and let Him explain what I'm feeling. I'm reminded of my heartsong from senior year. The words once again resonate deep within me...

I need words
As wide as sky
I need language large as
This longing inside
And I need a voice
Bigger than mine
And I need a song to sing You
That I've yet to find
I need You,
Oh, I need You
I need You,
Oh, I need You
To be here now
To be here now
To hear me now
To hear me now

"I Need Words"
David Crowder

That's all for now. I'm gonna go soak up some life from the Lover of my soul... He's so good to me. It amazes me yet never enough...

To Chew On...

2010-08-09T00:48:00.002-05:00

"A sure sign of the Holy Spirit's working is that Christ is magnified- not other people."
-Francis Chan

Oklahoma Sports Hall of Fame Banquet

2010-08-04T10:01:00.007-05:00

Every year my dad sponsors the Oklahoma Sports Hall of Fame banquet. For the first time in a while, it worked out for my whole family to go this year! Keypoints included Troy Aikman being inducted and giving a speech, Don Demeter's friend giving a hilarious speech, and my dad's brand new speech (He's stuck with the same one for the past 6 years). My dad was on a roll. Those moments are always nerve-wracking for my mom, sister and I. Even if we think it's funny, we never know how everyone else is going to react! But it seemed to go pretty well. Great job Daddy = ) Here are some pics from the night!!

Mikayla, Me, Chan

My hair. Not gonna lie, I was pretty proud of myself for creating this!!

Chan's hair (Creation of Mom)

My sweet cousin, Mikayla!

Dad flashin' a smile out at the audience hahah

Troy Aikman giving his speech

Me and the fam fam

This Time for Africa

2010-07-31T09:28:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I went and hung out with my previous roomie Lindy Green. Man, I LOVE HER! I'm so glad we roomed together last year. I'm gonna miss her this year, no doubt, but I'm glad we grew so close last year. So anyway, as usual she helped catch me up on Pop Culture. I'm always so behind = ) But she showed me a video to a song that sounded familiar but am not sure where I heard it. Regardless, this video really moved me. It's called "Waka Waka" by Shakira and it has clips from the previous World Cup. I LOVE IT. Not only is it full of clips of soccer but it shows the beauty of the sport. It brings countries together. It brings the world together. Oh how I wish that the US was more into soccer. Maybe I should move to another country = ) Ok well I'll let the video speak for itself. This time for Africa = )

Laughter

2010-07-30T23:16:00.002-05:00

Tonight I was overwhelmed by how much God has poured His laughter over me this week. I was eating dinner with the lovely Lindsay Rae Robinson at Iron Starr BBQ in OKC when it hit me-- it was the second time this week I had found myself in that restaurant laughing until tears were pouring down my cheeks. I really don't have much to say about that other than, thank you Jesus! Thank you for friends who I can live in joy with! Thank you for meals that fill my mouth with laughter and cause my heart to overflow. You are GOOD!

"He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with shouting." Job 8:21

"Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” Psalm 126:2

"And Sarah said, “God has made laughter for me; everyone who hears will laugh over me.” Genesis 21:6

May everyone see my life and laugh at how God has so taken care of me! What was foolish to the world He has transformed! May it only point to Him!!

Perfect Sunset

2010-07-24T17:12:00.004-05:00

Yesterday Koby let me tag along to Weatherford with her. I had SUCH good time. After dinner we went out to one of her favorite spots between Weatherford and Clinton. It's called White Horse Hill I believe? But I could have gotten that a little wrong. We were going to have dinner there, but there were two rehearsal dinners, so the owner said he couldn't fit us in but we could come back for sweet tea and the sunset. That was good enough for me!! I caught some pictures of it that I just had to share. I hope you enjoy!

[If you want to see any of my other photography, you can go to makenzihargrovephotography.blogspot.com]

Missin' My Family- Yes, Yes!

2010-07-22T11:58:00.003-05:00

While working on gathering some photos for Antioch's College Ministry website, I found myself perusing through my pictures from India. I found some videos from team times- times of worship filled with laughter and dancing, joy and fervency. I REALLY miss these people. They are one of a kind. I absolutely love them all. I miss inviting the Lord to come among us every morning and night as we met together. I miss the encouragement. I miss the rawness. I miss the honesty. I miss the laughter. I miss the shared experiences. I wish I could spend everyday with this group. CANNOT WAIT for them all to get back to OKC/Norman in the next few weeks. I miss them!!

"They committed themselves to the teaching of the apostles, the life together, the common meal, and the prayers. Everyone around was in awe—all those wonders and signs done through the apostles! And all the believers lived in a wonderful harmony, holding everything in common. They sold whatever they owned and pooled their resources so that each person's need was met.
They followed a daily discipline of worship in the Temple followed by meals at home, every meal a celebration, exuberant and joyful, as they praised God. People in general liked what they saw. Every day their number grew as God added those who were saved." Acts 2:42-47

Happy Birthday Papa

2010-07-18T22:08:00.012-05:00

Yesterday my Papa turned 77. He suffers from dementia so every moment and memory is dear to us as we watch him slip away. Dementia breaks my heart on so many levels, but I don't want to write about it right now. It gets me down. This post is a celebration! So here's to my puzzle partner, poker teachin', piano playin', boat drivin', "Don't Be Cruel" duetin', Christmas story readin' Papa. I love you. Happy birthday!!

Today...

2010-07-15T23:01:00.002-05:00

I've been thinking about an aspect of motherhood and how it applies today. I remember during various sermons I've heard (the ones that come to mind were by Dennis Newkirk and Mark Driscoll), pastors have talked about how a husband should help a wife out by helping them to get time alone with God despite the responsibility of children. While saying this, I remember them mentioning to wives that sometimes they may only get 5 min with God, but to take every moment possible and God would bless it. This concept didn't apply much, but I filed it to the back of my mind and it came up today. See, my family is town. God bless them, I truly love them, but I have trouble getting off to be alone when they're here. This is an understandable thing, but I find it hard to find time to just soak Him up alone. That is quickly very taxing on me. It reminds me of my need of Him, no doubt. Anyway, today I found myself briefly alone in the car. I turned off the music and just said, "Ok Abba, this may be the only time I get all day. Fill me up. I want to sit in Your presence." I immediately felt Him come over me, and I knew He understood. This has led me to think that the amount of time needed in His presence is related to how much our heart is seeking Him. If we have the time, the more time with Him, the better!! But on the days when getting alone seems almost impossible, He blesses the little moments. He knows our hearts. He knows that we are seeking Him despite chaos, and He blesses it. This has also given me a fresh perspective of the amount of time I spend with Him each day as a single (who is obviously childless). This is the time when I can spend a much larger portion of time alone and inhaling more and more. Much like in Proverbs when it says, "A sluggard does not plow in season; so at harvest time he looks but finds nothing." (Proverbs 20:4), I believe we can store up much in these periods of life for the times when it is just impossible to spend this much time with Him. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way saying that we can spend so much time with him now that it could last us a lifetime- by no means! I pray that I always press harder into Him! I will always need more and more of Him. I only mean that I hope that I will see this stage of my life as a time when I am not only free to serve Him in a way that only a single can, but also as a time when I can sow, plow, and store for later days when I wake up early only to find a 4 year old staring me straight in the eyes asking for breakfast and a 2 year old crying in their bed, etc etc, until I fall onto my bed exhausted later that night. So there's my thoughts for today. Motherhood and it's application in my life now...

His Perfect Timing...

2010-07-14T23:25:00.003-05:00

I've just been thinking a lot about how perfect His timing is lately... I don't have much to say, just wanted to mention it...

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live..."

Ecclesiastes 3:11-12

The Whisper

2010-07-12T21:46:00.002-05:00

Life is chaotic yet uneventful at the moment. Having been gone for the majority of the summer thus far, my to-do list is about a mile long. I feel like I'm constantly going. My room is yet to be completely clean since moving back from college (something I'm attempting to remedy before I go to sleep tonight), thank you letters need to be written to those who supported my trip to India, rooms need to be painted in my new house, furniture needs to be found, etc, etc... I don't mind it all that much except that all I really want to do is just soak up the presence. Martin Luther once said...

"I have so much business I cannot get on without spending three hours daily in prayer."

While I haven't quite gotten to the point of implementing that in my life, I'm beginning to understand it like never before. Christ has taken me on such a journey in the past seven months. I've grown more than I possibly grew in the 14 or so years of my walk with Him that preceded it. It's been the most incredible experience, but now I stand at a crossroads. In the past months I've made ME one of, if not my biggest priority outside of God. My main focus has been redirecting my life. I quit my job, made some big life changes, removed things temptations as far from me as I could, and just focused on how to grow the best way possible. The problem is that one can't live like this forever. Eventually, you have to learn to find a happy medium, a marriage between the old and new... Or at least I think so. I don't know; perhaps I'm only rambling. However, this is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. We are called to love our neighbors as ourselves. This implies that we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. While this definitely means we are to not consider ourselves to be greater than others and we are to being servants of all, I also think that we are called to care for ourselves in a way that perhaps Christians today have lost their grasp of. Why did God create the Sabbath? He created man with limits and needs. We need rest. We need Him. We are BODY, SOUL, and SPIRIT as I've grown up learning in my wonderful home church. All three areas are interconnected and must be cared for. We can only care for others if we first care for ourselves. Much like on airplanes when we are instructed to first put our own oxygen mask on before helping others, we must first minister to ourselves. If we don't we will pass out from trying to help everyone around us. In the church today we strive to go, go, go. Serving and getting involved is without a doubt CRUCIAL, but can't become the first priority. I'll stop before I start talking in circles. I'm reminded of all of this because I've found myself longing for more of Him but trying to get everything else done first. I need Him first! I MUST HAVE MORE OF HIM. Without that, any of my other task will prove fruitless. I whole-heartedly believe this. I've seen myself burned out, and it is not a pretty thing. Depression is not a pretty thing. While thinking of this, I was reminded of the passage in 1 Kings 19 when Elijah is fighting depression. He has just seen God work through him mightily, but he then falters quickly under the threat of a vicious queen. Exhausted, he runs to the desert and just asks God to let him die because he sees himself as having failed despite all his efforts. What does Jehovah do? Man, He shows how multi-faceted He is!! He ministers to Elijah's BODY by giving him food and sleep. He ministers to his SOUL by leading him to the mount of God to meet with Him. There on the mountain, He exhorts him feeding his SPIRIT. I love the symbolism in the verse...

"11 And He said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. 13 And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak..."

One thing I find interesting about this verse is how it contrasts with Isaiah 43 which explicitly says that God walks with us through the fire and flood. 1 Kings 19 is not saying that God abandons us amidst our trials. I just love imagining the scene. The Spirit of the Lord passes by and the earth responds tumultuously towards it's Creator. It recognizes Him. Elijah, sees it all and recognizes the power of the Lord. He has seen the power before. I don't think He had forgotten what God had done on Mount Carmel a few chapters back. He was just exhausted and in need of personal ministering. Overwhelmed by the power of God and wrecked by the sweet, low whisper of his PROVIDER, HEALER, CREATOR, and I AM, Elijah wraps his face in his cloak and walks to the mouth of the cave. I've been there. So hungry for His presence that when I encounter it I just have to hide my face and weep. It's such a beautiful, cleansing, overwhelming feeling. That's where I am right now. I'm starting to get exhausted, but I refuse to continue without being wrecked by His Spirit. Lord, I want more and more of You...

Steamboat Springs

2010-07-05T20:56:00.000-05:00

So I know I haven't blogged in a while. Honestly I've just had so much catching up to do since getting back from India!! At the moment I'm in Colorado with my family. We've been here since last Wednesday and I'm LOVING IT. Today we moved out to a cabin on 50 acres. I'm not sure I've ever been somewhere some quiet in my life. It's so peaceful and beautiful. This trip has been very refreshing in a different way than India was. India was an incredible time of building bonds with my sweet friends from Antioch, getting poured into, and pouring it all back out. This trip has been so, so different as I suppose is to be suspected. I've hiked 6 miles up a mountain (thought I would die but it was worth it), floated down Yampa River, gone to a parade, kayaked Yampa River, stood face to face with a majestic waterfall, seen the sweet Spradlin family, gone to Euzoa Bible Church, and read NON-STOP. I've read at my old pace, the pace I've missed the past few years and it has been incredible. Currently I'm starting up "The Maytrees" by Annie Dillard. I can already tell it's going to be beautiful. The picture at the bottom is what I'm currently looking at. I'm curled up under a blanket on the deck watching the sun's reflection set on the mountains. Tonight the fam and I are going to play some Settlers and make some s'mores. Yummm. Well as the sun sets, it's getting cold. I'm going to go inside and curl up with my book = ) Much love and many blessings friends...

My view at the moment.. Not sure I could be more content...

Good Health, Hearts on Fire

2010-06-16T03:34:00.000-05:00

Today is the first day in I don't even know how long that our WHOLE TEAM is out on the streets sharing today! Woohoo! SO good to have everyone back. Yesterday we didn't see a lot of fruit, but there was surprisingly little discouragement. We had an incredible time of worship. The Spirit just keeps filling us up more and more! I have come to adore every single person on my team. I've made so many close friends. These guys and gals are truly my family. We have each others' backs and I LOVE IT. Today is our second to last day to share. I have personally not yet seen any salvations, but I'm believing for Love encounters today! Either way, I know that God has used my time here to do His will. I know I have part in the inheritance and I will choose to live in no regret. Any regrets are covered in the blood of Jesus! My team and I are going at it hard these last two days. We want to see God do more crazy things! Personally, I'd kind of like to see Him raise someone from the dead. I mean... He did it... I've heard of others praying and dead raising... His power is in me and my teammates, so I wanna see His Kingdom come in that way!! Either way, my time here has been good. I'm adjusting to the culture. I bobble my head like an Indian all the time. It's half annoying, half hilarious. I'm ready to see my family, but I know I'll miss the time I've spent here, so I'm choosing to live for today! God is so good friends. Man, I can't wait to see how He moves in the next two days.

"Ask of me, and I will make the nations your heritage, and the ends of the earth your possession." Psalm 2:8

That's our cry right now! We have crazy dreams for this city. But we have an even crazier God = )

On a different note, I have still not fulfilled many of my random goals for my time here. I hope to complete them... In fact, I'm set on it.

1. Get a henna tattoo- the girls here have some awesome ones. I just have to find somewhere to get it done! Most of the girls do it themselves so they don't know where to tell us to go. If I figure out where to go, I think I'm going to get some flower design on my hand as it was the word given to me concerning my time here. I have a friend who wants to get a sun design since that was the word given over here. Speaking of that word, let me talk about that a bit... Julie Bennett, our pastor's wife, spoke over each of us the night before we left. Her word for me was that I was a flower who was going to blossom on this trip. Satan was going to try to stop that, but I couldn't let him. I had all kinds of ideas of what me blossoming might look like, but I'm not sure I imagined what it turned out to be! I've opened up to people in a whole new way. I'm truly becoming Makenzi the Bold as I used to declare over myself. I still am my quiet self, but I enjoy people so much more! That sounds terrible. I've always loved people but have also been a loner. I've learned how to cope without having alone time, which I KNOW will be beneficial in the future. I've made some great friends. I've learned to enjoy games. I've learned to step out of my comfort zone. I've learned to initiate. I've learned to speak what God tells me with boldness. Those are just a few. God, more sunshine! More rain! I want to blossom more and more!!

2. I want to be taught an Indian dance by some girls here! Just got to meet someone who I'd feel comfortable asking!

3. Ride a moped- Not sure that one's gonna happen but maybe in the US hahah

Ok that's enough for now. It's time to head out for the day. Keep praying. You all are awesome!!

Sorry It's Been So Long!!

2010-06-13T23:26:00.000-05:00

Hello friends!

Sorry I haven't been able to blog the past week! I've been so busy and then I got sick. I'm feeling a bit better although I'm still pretty dehydrated. Today is our day off so I'm trying to take it easy and get some good food inside of me. We leave in less than a week! So crazy. One of the most incredible things about being here is the way people seem to find US. People will come up to us and take us to a whole line of people who are wanting to be healed. It blows my mind. I thought I'd share some of my pictures. There are so many more on my flickr but these are some that I wanted to comment on. Love you all. Keep on praying!

This is a picture of a beggar and her child who I see regularly. They seriously break my heart. The little girl, whose name is Mary, is one of the happiest little kids you will ever meet. Her smile seriously lights up the area. My heart breaks every time I see her. We try to give them some food and drink whenever we see them. It's so hard to know what to do for the beggars. You don't want to give them money and encourage the cycle, but I'm always afraid that they are going to get in trouble with their pimps for not getting enough money. Also, I hate passing them by and doing nothing. How is that showing the love of Christ? So, we try to always at least talk to the beggar women and children, pray over them and give them food. Then we have to walk away and trust God to protect them...

Another picture of sweet Mary..

Here the team is playing Signs, a favorite game of ours. I can't believe how much I've come to love games since being here. Hahaha who knew that would happen??

Here's a picture of me and one of my new good friends, Madison. I'm so thankful for her!!

My meal from our favorite restaurant Toscano. Seriously, so good! We are going back tonight, and I have to admit that it's the main reason I'm not currently resting in the hotel right now hahaha

My little friend, Muskan who called me yesterday.. Although I couldn't understand her at all!!

Sending Out Song

2010-06-08T10:58:00.000-05:00

The day my team and I flew out, some of the people from our church came and prayed us out. They played this song as a sending out song. We've been singing it everywhere we go here. I wanted to share because the words are so great! Sorry that there is no official recording so this is the best I can get ya = )

Overcomers
by Abel Musuka

We are all more than conquerers
And we all possess power
To heal the sick, raise the dead,
Cause the blind to see
Set the captives free

We are all overcomers
Sin no longer has power
For we have captivated our thoughts
And have honored the cost
We have victory, his victory

Chorus:
And I see a people changing the nations,
Now rising up to take their place.
And I see an army, righteous and holy,
Filled with the spirit and not afraid.
They carry a banner, written Jehovah,
The lion of Judah, the king who reigns.
Christ the redeemer he is our master,
We've conqured all in Jesus name.

It's our time it's our hour
And we only grow stronger
We are pillars with anners that only fly higher
For His majesty

We are called by the FAther
He has granted us power
And he sees you and me as the bringers of peace
It's our destiny, our destiny.

We are the overcomers
WE are the overcomers
WE have overcome in JESUS NAME!!

An Evening Walk to the Hotel

2010-06-07T10:20:00.000-05:00

A rickshaw lets me off a few blocks away saying it isn't allowed to go through that road (ah the ways they find to rip us off). As my friends and I walk down the street I pass two men urinating. Men are holding hands. They aren't gay. This is just culturally acceptable. In contrast it is not acceptable for couples to hold hands in public. Rumor has it that on Valentines Day they were arresting any couples (and I mean heterosexual) caught holding hands. I pass piles of rotting trash with swarms of flies around them. There are no trash cans on the street. At the end of the day people empty their trashcans onto the sidewalk. The sidewalk is formed out of blocks with the sewer running underneath. It appears that there have been too many earthquakes or something as all the blocks are pushed up like some upheaval has occurred. Therefore every once and a while you get a nice whif of sewer. As we continue down the street, I see a young boy whose legs are broken behind him forcing him onto his face begging. I hear the call for prayer blaring over the speakers like a tornado siren. Three and four year old girls follow us, tugging on our shirts and begging for money. Older girls hold sleeping infants also asking for money. The night sky is orange with smog and light pollution. There seem to be no traffic laws as cars honk and weave in and out around each other without any apparent boundaries. You dodge cars, following locals who you hope have a better idea of how not to get hit by a car. Street vendors call out trying to sell watches, fruit and hot roasted corn. I see a hunchback midget on a mini motorcycle. We round the corner to our hotel and head back to our room. There's a little piece of my time here. I hope it painted a picture : )

Beggars

2010-06-05T20:09:00.000-05:00

The beggars here break my heart. Yesterday, me and the two girls I was with had a lot of trouble with beggars. One followed us 6 or so blocks INTO a restaurant. She didn't ask us for anything. She only smiled and twitched. I prayed for a binding of all evil spirits because I wasn't positive if she was possessed or not. The restaurant security ended up having to drag her out the back because she wouldn't leave. She smiled the entire way out. Later we were followed around by a woman and her precious little daughter. That one was rough because the little girl, who was at the very most one years old, was SO precious. She smiled and giggled like you wouldn't believe. We gave the little girl a toy and I bought them a bottled water. We aren't supposed to give them money because it will go back to a pimp, but so often we can't bear to give them nothing. This woman claimed she had been in a motorcycle accident which had messed up her left elbow. It was very scarred and couldn't straighten out. One of the girls in my group had gotten a word of knowledge for an elbow that morning so we prayed healing over her. Nothing happened while we were there but we are believing for healing at a later time! Her "husband" had no legs. It's really rough seeing so many maimed people. Many who you know have been maimed so they will bring in more money. We saw one little boy whose who chest had been burned. Another girl named Soni follows us every day. We've tried to share the Gospel with her but she doesn't speak English. It's so frustrating when we can't communicate with people! Beggars are both frustrating at times and heartbreaking. The locals are really hard on them. They yell at them and hit them. I also never know where their pimp is. I want to bring them hope and healing and freedom...

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhesrted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound..."
Isaiah 61:1

Please keep praying for the people here. God is good and continuing to show His faithfulness!!

We're Here!

2010-06-04T07:58:00.000-05:00

Hi friends!!

We've reached the city in South Asia where we will be spending the next three weeks! We are loving it. There are so many new sites and sounds. It's super loud here. As one of the interns said, honking is their love language = ) But really... They ALWAYS honk no matter what time of day or if no one is in front of them. The people here are beautiful. It can be heartbreaking at times though, especially the children. They follow us and are so precious, but we know they don't get to keep the money. I just want to scoop them up and take them with me. Friends, God is already at work here! I am SO EXCITED to tell you that TODAY ALONE, my team members and I experienced 14 healings and 2 salvations. Isn't that AWESOME?! We're are overwhelmed. It is only our first day out on the streets!! We have 16 days to go! Can't tell you how excited we are to see God's kingdom come to earth.

We got to our hotel around 4:30 AM after around 50 hours of traveling. Needless to say we were exhausted but they have been giving us time to adjust which is very nice. So far no stomach problems! God's so good = )I've been thinking of so many things to say and now I can't remember any!! But hope this encourages you. Please keep praying and I'll keep updating!! Love you all!

2 Days

2010-05-30T18:42:00.000-05:00

Chris read this verse in church today, and it just really resonated inside of me, particularly concerning India. I thought I'd share!

"My Spirit remains in your midst. Fear not. For thus says the LORD of hosts: Yet once more, in a little while, I will shake the heavens and the earth and the sea and the dry land. And I will shake all nations, so that the treasures of all nations shall come in, and I will fill this house with glory, says the LORD of hosts. The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, declares the LORD of hosts. The latter glory of this house shall be greater than the former, says the LORD of hosts. And in this place I will give peace, declares the LORD of hosts.'" Haggai 2:5-9

This verse just gets me excited. I don't even know if I have anything else to say about it. God is shaking up the nations!! The glory is going to be greater than before! Also, the mention of treasures, silver and gold reminded me of a movie I watched recently. It's a documentary called "Finger of God." The two videos underneath are the first two parts of it. I'm warning you- It is VERY stretching, but try to have an open mind about it all. Why can't God work this way? When it comes down to it, what reason do we have to question? As Chris said today, never trusting what God is doing in other peoples lives only leaves you judgmental and miserable, and I've found that to be so true in my life. That's all for today. Enjoy the videos!

Ninety to Nothing

2010-05-29T23:40:00.000-05:00

Wow... I'm straight up exhausted, but God is good. The South Asia team came over today.. Or at least the girls did. I had a blast with them. They are truly such a blessing. They're fun and uplifting. I couldn't ask for a better family for the time I'm overseas. I've been moving so fast the past few days. I'm not even sure what I've done!! Mom woke me up this morning to drive up to Guthrie where a girl from LA was having an estate sale. She had some super cute stuff that I was able to get for not much money at all. Anything ranging from antique/vintage linens to copper pots to a bed for my new house! This is it...

I'm pretty happy about it. There's just so much to get done before I go! Some of it is needless stress, I'm sure. I had a friend challenge me today to take an hour the day before I fly out, go out into the woods without any electronics or anything, and just BE. A great suggestion if you ask me. In fact, you can guarantee I'll be doing that very thing. I watched Slumdog Millionaire tonight. So much to take in... I'd seen it before, but it takes on a whole new meaning when you're preparing to go there. I can't wait to be there. Lord, use me! God just laid this verse on my heart...

"'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.' Then I said, 'Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth.' But the LORD said to me,
'Do not say, 'I am only a youth'; for to all to whom I send you, you shall go,and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, declares the LORD.' Then the LORD put out his hand and touched my mouth. And the LORD said to me, 'Behold, I have put my words in your mouth. See, I have set you this day over nations and over kingdoms... to build and to plant.'" Jeremiah 1:5-10

One of Satan's favorite lies during times like these, is to tell me that I'm not doing a good enough job-- that I'm not capable of doing a good enough job and that I'll always fail. This verse has long been one that has meant something to me, but as I prepare for one of the most life-changing experiences, I know that He is speaking this over me. Pray for boldness and trust. He's consecrated me. He's set me apart. He's put His words in my mouth. He's sent me to build and to plant. Lord, may Your Kingdom come on earth as it is in Heaven...

Response to "Real Men Watch Chick Flicks"

2010-05-28T22:29:00.001-05:00

So, my cousin Michael asked me to write a response to a blog post of his to explain what I meant by a comment I posted on his blog. His blog (http://findingmanhood.wordpress.com) comments on various aspects of what makes a man. One of his recent posts reads...

A real man is willing to see a chick flick with his wife and/or his daughter.
He realizes that just because he’s a real man, it doesn’t mean he can’t sit down with the woman he loves or the daughter who adores him and enjoy an activity that they like from time to time.
A real man doesn’t complain about watching the chick flick either. I’m not saying he has to be enthusiastic about it, but he does show a genuine appreciation to be spending time with the important women in his life.
Now, like all great axioms, this characteristic of a real man does come with a caveat of sorts. While a real man is willing to see a chick flick with his wife and/or daughter, it is OK for him to not be willing to see the same chick flick with a woman who is merely his girlfriend.
In fact, it is recommended that he NOT see a chick flick with a woman who is not either A) wearing a wedding ring that he purchased or B) the product of his relationship with the woman who is wearing a wedding ring that he purchased (see scenario A above).
A man who sees a chick flick with a woman who he has not yet made a lifetime commitment to is treading on thin ice. There are just some things in life that are best reserved for the sacred bonds of marriage.
While there’s nothing inherently wrong with chick flicks, once a man starts sitting down to watch them with a woman who he has not yet committed his life to, he is on a slippery slope. If he’s not careful, it won’t be long before he’s wearing a mud mask facial, getting a pedicure, while a petite woman in a white smock waxes his upper lip… all the while daydreaming about the next opportunity he’ll have to tune in for a Lifetime movie.
So… the next time your wife or daughter wants you to go a see chick flick, if you want to be a real man, just do it. Not only will you get to enjoy quality time with someone who is very important to you, but (selfishly) you’ll also be accruing points for the next time you want to take her to a football game, the bowling alley, or a remote stream for a little trout fishing.
Along those same lines, the next time a woman who you have yet to take the vows of holy matrimony with suggests that the two of you watch a chick flick together, you’ll be doing yourself and the relationship a favor if you kindly (remember, a real man is kind) but firmly decline. To preserve diplomacy in the relationship, you might even trying following with an offer to try an activity together that’s a little more gender neutral. Something like skeet shooting, or bowling, or trout fishing.

There are parts of this I agree with and others that I don't. Now granted, I know that the whole post is peppered with sarcasm, but here are my thoughts regardless. First, I must say that he didn't take it where I expected him to. I agree that it is good to do things that the other wants to do. Love puts others' desires before its own. Plus, as he mentioned, what goes around, comes around. But chick flicks are a category all of their own. A category, which I might add, I would never want to share with my dad no matter how much I adore him as I wouldn't feel comfortable watching it with him. Chick flicks are an interesting genre. I've heard them called pornography for women, and I have to say that I see the validity in the accusation. They give girls false ideas of what a relationship will look like emotionally, which, as we all know, is the where the female is prone to struggle. However, perhaps some girls can stay away from the mindset that love will actually play out like a chick flick, yet still, are chick flicks healthy to watch? As a single, 19 year old girl, I've recently cut back on the amount of chick flicks I watch. They just don't promote a healthy mindset for me. They cause me to live in the future instead of today. And I'm not even getting into the sexual aspects of chick flicks. That's a whole OTHER ballpark-- one that should probably be addressed but I don't know how I feel about doing it over a blog.
Now I come to the topic of boyfriends watching chick flicks with their girlfriends. This is where the blog took an unexpected turn. When Michael called it "a slippery slope," I agreed. Watching a chick flick while dating could be considered a bad idea. Like he said, perhaps not inherently bad, but definitely a slippery slope. What kind of mindset and environment does a chick flick create? It's no secret that some boys use chick flicks for this very purpose. Those who are more respectable, may not be intending on this, but it can definitely create an atmosphere of vulnerability. So boys, I suppose it depends what sludge puddle you're more afraid of sliding into. I highly doubt that watching a chick flick is going to result in your girlfriend expecting you to take a spa day with her so I wouldn't be worried about that. The bigger concern is whether you are going to lead in protecting your relationship. Are you going to encourage vulnerability or try to strengthen the purity of a relationship? Perhaps that is the slippery slope an unmarried, yet taken, guy should be more worried about...
As for those who are married, while watching a chick flick with your wife may be thoughtful, try doing little things to make her feel like she is living in a chick flick (in a non-cheesy preferable). I can guarantee it will mean more in the end, and grow your relationship more... Not to mention that then you can skip the movie all together!

6 Days!

2010-05-27T00:06:00.000-05:00

Well, I leave for South Asia in 6 days and I CAN'T WAIT. Today was the final day of our retreat. It was pretty chill which was much needed as we were all pretty worn out. We are currently $11,000 short of what we need for the trip. While that may SEEM like a lot, you must consider a few things. First, in the last week it has dropped from $20,000 so that's pretty stinkin' awesome AND the trip ended up costing about $16,000 more than originally budgeted thanks to the volcano and its effects on airfare costs. REGARDLESS we are confident that God is going to provide the last chunk. Be praying!! We're already thanking Him for the crazy way it's going to come in. I also ran some errands for the trip with my team and later with my mom today. As a team we are taking a bag full of foods and such that the long term team there have requested. My group was in charge of yeast packets and Honey Nut Cheerios? Hey.. Whatever makes them happy!! My mom and I went to Sam's where we began the process of making a bomb first aid kit for the trip, then Backwoods where my mom bought me some verrryyy useful stuff for the trip. So thankful = ). ALSO, I started packing today. Crazy, huh? You can call me Chandler = ). It actually feels super good to pack this early! I'm trying to condense as much as possible. I wanna travel light. Lastly, I took my first malaria pill today. That means the trip is CLOSE! Woohoooo!! Just be praying against the enemies attacks on our group. I got a picture today of our team in a circle but slowly we were spreading out more and more. I believe it was a warning that Satan sees how we are building unity and wants to try to make us feel isolated, judged, and insecure. He wants to prevent unity and trust, but we say none of that = ). So now for a few days to recoup before heading out. Have I mentioned I'm excited... Yes, I have. Sorry = ) I finished "Humility" by Andrew Murray yesterday, and I loved something he wrote at the end. SO, I will share it. Enjoy = )

"It is only in the possession of God that I lose myself. As it is in the height and breadth and glory of the sunshine that the smallest speck dancing in its beams is seen, even so humility is taking our place in God's presence to be nothing but a speck dancing in the sunlight of His love. How great is God! How small we are! Lost, swallowed up, in love's immensity!"
-Andrew Murray

Jeremiah 17...

2010-05-24T23:02:00.000-05:00

Wow... Sometimes God is just so obvious. Allow me to tell a sub-story of my past semester. Beginning of my semester was rough-- no secret. Jeremiah 17:5-8 was really involved with the whole situation. While the passage had previously been a favorite of mine, I got to the point that I didn't even really want to open up the book of Jeremiah. I felt betrayed by God. I felt like He'd used it against me. Vessel #1: Allison Harms texted me one day and said she felt like I was supposed to read Jeremiah 17:7-8. She felt like it'd be encouraging to me. I remember saying, "That's funny because..." Vessel #2: A few weeks ago I received a letter from Lana Kelley. Part of the letter was a drawing of a big tree with roots with Jeremiah 17:7-8 written under it. She explained how she saw it playing out in my life. She also had no idea the irony of it. Vessel #3: Tonight during India training we were with the Equip team. Ashley Lynch came up to me and said that she had been asking God what He wanted her to share with me and she had heard Him say, "A verse in Jeremiah. It's underlined." It wasn't her usual Bible, so when she flipped through, the only verse underlined was Jeremiah 17:7-8. Uncanny, huh?? When I heard the reference come out of her mouth I started laughing and crying at the same time. She said that I had deep roots in Him, and as I go into India, He will be my refreshment. He's going to continually pour Himself upon me. He will overflow onto me! I explained the significance of the verse in my life and we both just started laughing. We talked about what God might be wanting to show me through the verse and she prayed clarity concerning it over my life. Man, it was so weird. I also had some other great words spoken over me that were so encouraging but this is the one that left me thinking the most. Father, what are you wanting me to glean from this?? I ask for more refreshing water of life and I pray that I may indeed have fruit even in the midst of a desert. You are GOOD! Thank you for renewing this part of Your love letter to me in a way no other could...

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose trust is the Lord.
He is like a tree planted by water,
that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit.”
Jeremiah 17:7-8

8 Days

2010-05-24T09:17:00.000-05:00

I leave in 8 SHORT DAYS. That's such a crazy thought!! Today we start our group retreat. There are 16 of going: Blake, Heather, Madison, Shana, Jenny, Jake, John, Rachel, Julie, Nicole, Caitlin, Lauren, another Lauren, Kelly, Stephanie, and me. Now you have all of our names to be praying for = ) So anyway, we are hanging out in Norman for our retreat to save money. We'll be watching films such as The Finger of God which I'm SUPER excited about, as well as having roommate dinners, treasure hunting, and joining the Equip team for their weekly meeting tonight. I'm really excited about all of it actually. It will be great to get to know everyone better before leaving and just get pumped up. I've been reading a lot in preparation for the trip. We are required to read "Humility" by Andrew Murray and "Words of Knowlege" by Randy Clark. I haven't read the second book yet, but "Humility" has been FANTASTIC. I'm surprised at what an easy read it is since it's pretty old (it was written in the 19th century). It's been very applicable. On my own I've been reading "From East to West: God in the Shadows" by Ravi Zacharias. It's shed so much light on the culture I'll be going into. There's a little update. I'll have more to say no doubt after the retreat. I'm also wanting to put the Creation to Christ story on here for you all to read. It's what we will be using to share the Gospel while in South Asia. I haven't gotten it all memorized quite yet but I'm pretty pumped. I'm really just excited all around. Man, God is so so good! I can not WAIT to see Him move!!! I'll leave you with a little quote I read in "Humility" that I loved...

"God created the world out of nothing, and as long as we are notion, He can make something out of us." -Martin Luther

Literati and Art on a Rainy Day

2010-05-15T23:57:00.000-05:00

Today was so full. I truly enjoyed it. The morning started off a bit rough, but it got much better. I met Koby to go to the Literati Book Fair of local authors and publishers downtown. While, I didn't buy anything, it was interesting to see how it all works, talk with publishers about how to buy their books wholesale, talk to authors about their works, and get the inside scoop on the underground culture. I get the feeling there are all kinds of exciting underground festivals of sorts that take place in Oklahoma City. You can guarantee that I'll be seeking them out from now on. I bet I could meet so many interesting people at them! On our way out we saw a poster for an exhibit at the Oklahoma City Museum of Art. It looked interesting so Koby and I headed that way. SO incredible. Not only did I get to see costumes from Audrey Hepburn films, the original Atonement dress along with many more awesome original cinematic costumes, but I FINALLY got to see the blown glass exhibit which has always so intrigued me. Let me say, ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS. One hundred percent worth my ten dollars. Here are some pictures I took there...

And my absolute FAVORITE...

Can my ceiling please look like that??!

If you have never been to the OKCMoA, I highly suggest it. Enjoy your community! See what it has to offer!!

Contemplations from an Evening Walk

2010-05-13T18:40:00.000-05:00

During my time at OU, I've grown to really enjoy walks. Now that I'm home, I still want to go on them. They're so relaxing. They provide the perfect time for praying and just letting God overwhelm me. Today I took my first walk at home. Here are some pictures I took as I walked and thoughts they inspired...

My walking buddy...

"How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!" Psalm 119:103

"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
-Robert Frost

Freshman Year Is Over

2010-05-12T00:23:00.002-05:00

Tonight is my last night in Norman for the year. My last night in a dorm. My last night in Adams Muldrow 506. So much has happened this year... Man, it's absolutely insane when I look back at it. To think of where I was in August, where I was in September, where I was in December, where I was in January... Where I am now. I've been to the depths and back, and all I can say is GOD IS FAITHFUL. So here's my tribute to Freshman year of college... Everywhere I've been, people I've met, the places God is still taking me... This took a whole lot of narrowing down.. In fact.. I think I'll just have to limit this post to new friends I made this year...

Koby and Sam... You guys were my first new friends at OU. I can't imagine where I'd be if God hadn't put you two in my life. Your friendship means the world to me. Thank you for being there for me so many times that I couldn't even begin to count. I can't wait to see where God takes our friendship... There is MUCH to say... But I'll leave it at that for now...

To my lifegroup girls (and this is just from last semester!). You all are AWESOME. Thank you for teaching me about community!

Chesh and Travis... We've been friends for a few years now, but you two have truly become my brothers. Thank you for loving me and being there for me. Thanks for Skype dates, long walks, talking until 3 in the morning, and just being a true brother in Christ. You both are mighty men of God and I can't wait to see where God takes you!!

Cruiser.. You've made me smile on so many days when I felt like I had nothing else to smile about... I just love you and Dax to the moon and back. Thanks for letting me be your Wendy = )

Boys... Hahaha you're just funny. That's about all I have to say about you three

Cassi and Rachelle, you girls are adorable. God is going to use you in mighty, might ways. Be usable; He's gonna use you two!!

Children of Antioch... Thank you for your picture of joy and acceptance. It blesses me...

Caitlin- thank you for always laughing with me about things at Lifegroup that no one else catches. Your uniqueness and passion is inspiring. Robin- You are an incredible listener and a sweet spirit. People feel at home around you. Your hospitality is one of a kind, truly.

Steph (how sad is it that this is my only picture of you?!) You are SUCH an inspiration. Your dedication to God's call upon your life and your schoolwork is unlike any I've seen. You have a sweet spirit. We have so much in common, but there are many things about you that I admire and aspire to become. Keep on keeping on!!

Rachel- you are steadfast in your commitments and relationships. You seek God's will always. You have amazing perseverance which I aspire to obtain. I can't wait to share a house with you and Koby next year!!

Other Antiochers... Man I just love you guys... Where to even begin, seriously. Community is beautiful. Finding unity in what we have in common... Acts 2:42-47. Revival is coming friends...

Lauren and Alex hahaha I LOVE you two. Watching you guys play off of each other seriously cracks me up. Lauren- I love your hunger for the Lord. Watching your faith grow is such a blessing to me. God's gonna bless your hunger. Alex- you're a leader. Don't forget it. You're also an encourager. Don't forget that either. I love watching you lead!

Lindy, I am so blessed to have been your roommate. I'm so glad our friendship grew rather than diminishing through this experience. Thank you for putting up with me and all my little crap. You're a great friend haha! This may be the end of an era for us, but our friendship is gonna keep on going. I love you and am always here for you even if we aren't gonna share a room anymore = (

Abba... Thank you for loving me and not forsaking me. You never give up on me. Everything you do screams "I love you." Thank you for Your inerrant plan. I love walking each day with you knowing You will never lead me astray. I look forward to where You'll lead!! Thanks for walking through the depths with me this year. Thanks for putting up with my pounding screaming. I know You will never hurt me. I believe You make all things new. You've been SO good to me. Thank you. Thank you. Oh.. And thank you for things like stars to remind me how much You love me. Thanks for creating them just for me = )

2010-05-12T00:23:00.001-05:00

Happy Birthday Chandler!!

2010-05-07T01:34:00.000-05:00

Today's my little sis's sweet sixteen... Well technically I guess it was yesterday as it's almost 2 AM but you know. I love her to death. I wish I could have spent more time with her, but can't wait to be home with her in a few days. Here's a little photo montage to celebrate sisterhood = ) Love you so so SO much Chan. You're growing into such a woman of God and it's a blessing to watch. Keep on following Him = )

Packing

2010-05-05T21:34:00.001-05:00

My packing has begun. I desire to see something picturesque and say something worth reading, but I'm all out of words. I move home a week from today. For now I'll just enjoy life... Laissez faire...

Another Day at College...

2010-05-04T23:11:00.000-05:00

Here are two videos from today! Enjoy! Hah

We All Have Our Godot

2010-05-04T17:18:00.000-05:00

We've been studying Samuel Beckett's "Waiting for Godot" in English literature and today someone said something really beautiful. The play is all about two guys waiting day after day for Godot to show up. He never does, but the play centers around them trying to pass the time while waiting. A girl in my class raised her hand and began saying, "We all have our own Godot. We're all waiting for something-- whether it's a degree or marriage or kids or some goal, we're all waiting and just trying to pass the time until it happens." That's SO true, but I don't want it to be true of my life. I don't want to spend my life waiting. I want to take advantage of every moment, every opportunity. God open my eyes to the things unseen! Help me to seize the day!

Conclusion I've Reached

2010-05-03T23:24:00.000-05:00

The longer I'm on this journey, the more I realize that God is a God of paradoxes. Yet still His Word says that He is not a God of confusion but a God of peace. How? Trust. I think that the world, the Word, and God Himself are full of paradoxes to remind me of my finiteness. My understanding is so incomplete. He is God. I am man. His thoughts are not my thoughts and His ways are unlike mine. He creates so many seemingly confusing concepts to remind us to trust. He doesn't contradict Himself. My mind just can't always comprehend. He hides things asking us to trust Him. He reminds us that He has a plan. This concept is something that has taken me years to reach. It's so simple, but it took me so long to reach this conclusion. I am nothing, but still You love me. Remind me daily that You are God. You are holy. You are good...

The End... Of the Beginning??

2010-05-02T19:44:00.000-05:00

My Baby's Come Back...

2010-05-01T23:38:00.001-05:00

My Nikon 18-105 mm finally made it home after an almost two month triop to the Nikon factory.

I COULDN'T be happier = )

Perfection

2010-04-30T11:55:00.000-05:00

"Each time you fall, He'll pick you up. He knows your own efforts are never going to bring you anywhere near perfection." -CS Lewis

Why do I expect myself to be perfect when He doesn't? I can make Him proud but do I ever disappoint Him? This gives me something to think of. He knows I'll never be perfect. He delights to see me walking in truth... When He looks at me He sees Christ... So again I have to ask, is it possible to disappoint Him? Are there any New Testament references to such? I know there is a verse that talks about being perfect like Christ but what about disappointing like the Israelites did in the Old Testament? I suppose I'll have to just read it straight through and see!

Is He Strong Enough?

2010-04-27T23:10:00.000-05:00

WOW. I have an INCREDIBLE story to share. My friend Cassi Coder told it tonight in lifegroup. I met Cassi in August and have gotten to know her better this semester as we are in Lifegroup and two classes together. Well tonight she told a story I have to pass along. This weekend her family came to visit her in Norman. She has a precious little four year old brother who always says that he "wants to see her school." As they were driving around this weekend he asked, "Cassi. Is God strong enough to lift things?" Trying to figure out what he meant, Cassi explained that God holds the earth and such. "But is He strong enough to lift things?" he asked again. Cassi asked if he meant things like a car or what he was meaning. He replied, "Can God lift your school? Because He is right now. Do you hear that booming? It's so loud and I see Him lifting it!" Chills? I think so!! Man, that's some incredible knowledge and faith of a child! God is ROCKING NORMAN, and I can't wait to see what He continues to do! I look forward to the day when people think of the revival rather than football when they think of Norman. Fire reign down!

"Look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded. For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told... For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end--it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay... The righteous shall live by his faith." Habakkuk 1:5,2:3-4

"Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3-4

"And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions." Joel 2:28

"For thus says the Lord of hosts: Yet once more, in a little while, I will shake the heavens and the earth and the sea and the dry land. And I will shake all nations, so that the treasures of all nations shall come in, and I will fill this house with glory, says the Lord of hosts." Haggai 2:6-7

"And this is the confidence that we have toward Him, that if we ask anything according to His will He hears us." 1 John 5:14

"Restore us, O Lord God of hosts! Let your face shine, that we may be saved!" Psalm 80:19

"For our God is a CONSUMING FIRE." Hebrews 12:29

God, I long to see Heaven come to Earth!

My Patronus

2010-04-18T17:22:00.000-05:00

Yes. You can laugh if you desire, but it occurred to me last night that Jesus is the Patronus to my demons. Because "when I speak Your name, mountains move; chains are loosed. When I speak Your name darkness flees. It has no hold on me." So I'll just keep letting him protect me from the dementors = )

To anyone who reads this, Satan has really been attacking me the past few days. Please pray against all attacks in my life and in the this city. Evil is very real but "the enemy has been defeated. Death couldn't hold You down. We're gonna lift our voice in victory. We're gonna make our praises LOUD!" Thanks you for all of your prayers. Blessings!!

The Universe Without It's Creator...

2010-04-12T09:55:00.000-05:00

Today my astronomy teacher was explaining what the universe is made of. He was ranting about how confusing it is because the universe is actually only 5% matter as we know it. The rest is made up of this unknown "dark energy/matter." Not only that, but the majority of the universe (dark energy-72%) is responsible for the expansion of the universe. Stop and think about that for a moment... 95% of the universe is made up of unseen energy and matter which is responsible for the continuing development of the universe. Does that blow anyone else's mind? What's incredible to me is that people try to explain this without taking the spiritual realm into consideration. They can't! My professor is flabbergasted over the concept and he's known about it for years! It blows his mind. I don't really have any more to say. I don't know enough about the universe or this unknown matter to talk about it in an educated fashion, but I just wanted to throw this out for others to think about. While 95% of the universe is made up of something scientists don't understand, the part responsible for the development of the universe makes up 75% of that while the rest makes up the remaining 1/4. I don't know if my rambling makes any sense. I also know that sometimes I like to think too outside the box about how the spiritual world relates to the physical world, but I think the speculation is so fascinating! I'll just leave you to think about this...

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12

He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:13-14

I am...

2010-04-10T16:45:00.001-05:00

I am a child of distraction, a daughter of the Most High King. Born into darkness, adopted into light. Loved beyond imagination, forgiven endlessly. Weak but made strong. Molded by the Creator. An adulteress who is passionately chased again and again. Dirty but made clean. Accepted despite my faults. Perfect despite my imperfections. On the road to glory though I detour. Beautiful though broken. Pure despite my tarnishes, despite my past. I am cherished by my Beloved and He is mine...

New House!!

2010-04-08T22:58:00.000-05:00

I am a mere 12 days from being a homeowner!! Super scary but also very exciting! I thought it was time to upload some pictures of the new home for those family and friends who have been asking. They aren't very great pictures, but they're better than nothing. Enjoy!!