Moving...

Okay loves,

In an attempt to condense as much as possible as well as keep up with the times, I'm moving my blog to my tumblr.  Assuming this sticks, you can find me at http://makenziryanne.tumblr.com.  Hope to see you there!

Makenzi

Risk

"Formula says, 'I will not risk. I will be in control of my future.' Faith says 'I will risk everything. I will trust Him whom I cannot see, surrender what I cannot control anyway.'"

Life is full of risk. We aren't called to protect ourselves. We are called to follow Him unabandoned, trusting that He has our best interests in mind.

Every Moment

I read recently that we shouldn't try to recreate moments with God because He always has something new and more for us. Today I drove home to see my aunt who was in town for the day. When I got home, I took a walk on the trail around our property then sat on the swing in patchy sunshine. There was just a slight breeze, which we all know is rare here in Oklahoma, and the weather couldn't have been more perfect. Sitting there amongst the scent of damp earth while listening to the birds, I wanted to capture that moment to relive again and again. That's when I remembered what I mentioned above. Life is beautiful. The best is yet to come. Enjoy every moment and don't waste it by wondering how you can make it last forever. There's another sunny day coming, and it is going to be even more beautiful...

A Different Way

"It so happened that after Pharaoh released the people, God didn't lead them by the road through the land of the Philistines, which was the shortest route, for God thought, 'If the people encounter war, they'll change their minds and go back to Egypt.'" (Exodus 13:17, MSG)

God is so kind. I mean really, He is ALWAYS looking out for His children and trying to do best for them. But how often do we want to go the shortest route? We are constantly telling God, "Look, I know you know best and all BUT it would seem to me that it would really make the most sense to do it this way." AS IF He needs our finite knowledge to make the best decision. His goal is to get us OUT of slavery and INTO the promised land that He has for us. We need to embrace the journey because it is in the small things along the way that we are molded and shaped into vessels for Him. Day after day I am guilty of second guessing the goodness of God (aren't we so glad that He never grows tired of us or of giving us another chance?). Just yesterday I had to realign myself with the goodness of God to remember that His ways are perfect, and honestly, I have to everyday. It's not a one time ordeal. I want to live from heaven to earth, but the fact of the matter is that I'm surrounded by earth and I have to CHOOSE to align myself with Christ and His purposes for the earth. So here's to this rainy morning, remembering that His ways are perfect, His nature is good, and His kindness is incomprehensible.

Grasshopper Identity

"We saw the Nephilim [giants], and we seemed to ourselves like grasshoppers..." Numbers 13:33

This verse hit me afresh tonight. It comes from the passage that tells of the twelve spies going to scout out the land of Canaan. Upon returning, Caleb and Joshua encouraged the people of Israel saying, "Let us go up at once and occupy it, for we are well able to overcome it.” (Numbers 13:30) Caleb and Joshua knew the nature of God. They believed His promises. They didn't get caught up comparing their insufficiencies and inadequacies against the things they saw. They knew what the Lord had said, and they believed it. Later they urged Israel saying, “The land, which we passed through to spy it out, is an exceedingly good land. If the Lord delights in us, he will bring us into this land and give it to us, a land that flows with milk and honey. Only do not rebel against the Lord. And do not fear the people of the land, for they are bread for us. Their protection is removed from them, and the LORD is with us; do not fear them.” (Numbers 14:7-9)

Why is it that we are willing to settle so quickly? Why don't we hold out for what He's promised? Graham Cooke wrote, "When we fail to respond to the overtures of God, we remain the product of all our yesterdays." The overtures of God... I LOVE THAT. An overture, by definition, is an introduction to something more substantial. God longs to introduce us to something more substantial, something greater. Why do we turn back to slavery instead, just as the Israelites did? We must stand firm until the breakthrough comes. There is no turning back. We must see ourselves through the identity that was put on us by Christ's death, the identity substantiated through the Holy Spirit living inside of us. THE LORD DOES NOT SEE US AS GRASSHOPPERS SO NEITHER SHOULD WE. He sees us as His beloved children whom He fights for. We are His instruments of battle. We are not what our past says about us. We are what Christ says about us. The old is gone and the new has come. So put on your helmet of salvation and pick up your shield of faith. The Lion of Judah is walking beside you, and He says that you were made for this. It's time to yet again receive the promise of God and remember who He is. With Him, we can stand up against the enemy and receive the territory that God has for us.

Does your self-esteem match up with the Holy Spirit's confidence? Don't convince yourself that you're a grasshopper. Stand up. He believes in you.

11:11

God and I have this thing going on. See, it seems that I look at the clock pretty much every time it reads "11:11." Whether it's in the morning or at night when I'm getting ready for bed, I seem to always see when those numbers pop up. I decided to ask God what He was wanting to tell me, and He told me that He wants me to be thankful for the here and now. As a college student it's so easy to always be looking towards the future-- "What will I do once I graduate?" "Am I going to go on any adventures?" "When will I meet the person I'm going to marry?" etc. etc. On top of that, God has said that 2012 is going to be a year of promise. I feel like I'm on the edge of something new with Him, and I'm so ready to jump into whatever it is. It's so easy for me to constantly be jumping ahead and wondering what's next. I firmly believe that the best is always yet to come and God's plans are always good so that gets me excited. BUT God wants to remind me, that He has something for me NOW. Right now. Right here. He has me in this place for such a time as this, and He doesn't want me to miss it. So for now, I'm letting 11:11 be my reminder to be all here now and to look for what He is doing around me.

End of Year Resolutions

The year 2011 is coming to an end, and it got me thinking. Every year I attempt to make New Years Resolutions. Yes, sometimes they've actually happened, but for the most part... It just doesn't happen. The biggest hinderance is not my lack of motivation but the idea that I have a whole year in front of me to get it done. Well, I have decided to try something new this year. I am making End of Year Resolutions. Nothing huge, just a couple of goals I have for myself before we ring in the New Years. So here we go...

1. Lose 2 more pounds. Yes I'm aware this is cliche and silly BUT I gained between 15 and 20 pounds during 2010, and this year I have lost all of that except 2 pounds. It's gonna happen folks-- and it's gonna happen WITHOUT me cutting out all the holiday yummys. Just watch.

2. Pay off my debt. This sounds much more intense than it really is. It really just means making sure all of my credit cards are completely paid off when I start the New Year. I want to start the New Year owing no man anything except to love them in Jesus Christ.

So those are my End of Year Resolutions. What are yours??

Rainy November Day

Opinion From the Other Side...

Many of you responded to my twitter about my professor's discussion of Christian missionaries in Africa today. One hundred and forty characters isn't enough to explain so I thought I would link you all to my blog. My teacher is a Kenyan man who was a kid when what is known as the "Mau Mau Rebellion" occurred in Kenya. This was a native rebellion against the British colonial government. Both of his parents were what he called "devout Christians." While he has never shared where he stands, I have gathered that he is rather indifferent to religion. He doesn't seem bitter towards it or even opposed. He might even be a believer, but he just doesn't really discuss it so it's hard to tell. Today a student asked about what caused the divisions between Kenyans in the rebellion. Economic divisions are discussed most, but the student asked if there were more reasons. Jid (my professor) replied that it was a great question because while class differences were a big contributor, religion was also very influential. He went on to call himself a "product of missionary schools". He said that Christian missionaries have really helped African educational systems. Additionally, he pointed out that they have brought lots of medicine and helped the overall health of Africans. However, when the Africans wanted to build their own government and get out from under colonial powers (much as the US did a couple hundred years earlier), the missionaries often sided with the colonial government. This placed Christian Africans in an awkward place. Their leaders were telling them to essentially fight against their brothers, creating Civil Wars. For example, my professor had a paternal uncle fighting for the Mau Mau and a maternal uncle fighting for the British, much as we saw in our own Civil War. He said that this occurred not only in Kenya but in many other countries like Zimbabwe and Mozambique. True, in the case of the Mau Mau, Christians did not want to have to take the Mau Mau oath to kill, but that does not mean they wanted to fight for the cause of the colonial powers either. All in all, Jid seemed to feel that the pros of missionaries outweighed the cons, but it got me thinking... Why do we so often try to force our comfort zones onto natives? We should be supporting local governments and being a help, not a harm to them. Yes, colonial struggles are now completely over in Africa, but it is still up to us to aid in the building of strong and successful governments, not to create divisions amongst the people. That's really all that was said, but, at least for me, it was food for thought.



Did you know that after the horrors of World War 2, concentration camps were used throughout Africa (such as in Kenya, as seen below) where prisoners were tortured and thousands of women and children died of malnutrition and disease?

Also

I am also planning on making these for my living room following midterms craziness. So pretty = )

Midterms

This is one of those weeks of school that you just have to grit your teeth and plow through. I've been amazed at how much harder each semester of school has gotten. I know that's the idea, but as soon as I manage to get my study skills to match my classes, they get harder! Anyway, I'm really just procrastinating as I should be hitting the books right now, but I thought I'd make a list of what I will do once I turn in my last paper on Friday instead. So here we go...

1. Sleep
2. Work out
3. Sleep
4. Get groceries so I can stop eating black beans for every meal.
5. Try out my new Holga cam
6. Go on an adventure with Abbey (I haven't run this past her yet, but I'm sure she'll accommodate)
7. Prepare for the pinnacle of Kevinmas (Monday, October 24)
8. Cheer the Sooners on to victory
9. Watch a movie
10. Do my nails

BAM. Glad I got that figured out. Now back to studying for my Fall of the Roman Empire midterm tomorrow. Woot woot!

9 Years Ago...

9 years ago today, I gained another little sister. It is blowing me away that she is SERIOUSLY 9. I don't even know how that's possible. Here are some of my favorite pictures of her. Man, I love this little girl. I hate that she lives so far away now. Happy birthday Halle! I LOVE YOU!!!!

A Day For...

Today is a day for...

Learning more about the art of picture taking
Downloading beautiful fonts
Relaxing
Enjoying this day that the Lord has made
Taking fall inspire pictures
Smiling
Feeling at peace.

I'm so thankful for days without commitments that allow me to enjoy life. Thank you Jesus for today!

Chosen

"You're Jacob, my first choice,
descendants of my good friend Abraham.
I pulled you in from all over the world,
called you in from every dark corner of the earth,
Telling you, 'You're my servant, serving on my side.
I've picked you. I haven't dropped you.'
Don't panic. I'm with you...
Do you feel like a lowly worm, Jacob?
Don't be afraid.
Feel like a fragile insect, Israel?
I'll help you.
I, God, want to reassure you.
The God who buys you back, The Holy of Israel.
I'm transforming you from worm to harrow,
from insect to iron.
As a sharp-toothed harrow you'll smooth out the mountains,
turn those tough old hills into loamy soil.
You'll open the rough ground to the weather,
to the blasts of sun and wind and rain.
But you'll be confident and exuberant,
expansive in The Holy of Israel!"

{Excerpts from Isaiah 41 in the Message}

Isn't it beautiful to know we are chosen??

Order From Chaos

Just read this in a book for school and was reminded on the consistency of God. He's so good!

"On the Sabbath the Hebrews recalled how Yahweh had created the world out of formlessness and void, and how the Creator had crowned the creation with the Sabbath itself. Thus on each Sabbath the Hebrews celebrated an order that was real for all time, an order as old and fundamental as the creation itself, an order celebrating God's triumph over chaos. Empires might come and go, but this order would always remain. Each celebration of the Sabbath affirmed a faith that the God who in the beginning had brought order out of chaos would conquer captivity's historical chaos as well..."

-The Letters of Paul: Conversations in Context (Calvin J. Roetzel)

Abundance

God reminded and revealed the most beautiful thing to me last night as I was falling asleep! When Christ died He took all our punishment. He bore it all!! That means that God never punishes our sin. Sometimes our sins punish us, but in Him there is only freedom! That means that God doesn't take away things or hurt us because of our sins. He just doesn't!! Everything that is taken away from us is not punishment! When good things are taken away, they are stolen by the enemy. He has come to kill, steal, and destroy, but Christ has come that we might have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10). God never desires to hurt us. However, just as a loving Daddy will take away something that will hurt us, our Abba is watching out for us diligently. His desire is never to make us miserable. He hates to see us hurt. That is not His heart's desire, but He sees the big picture and desires to take us to the most abundant place possible. Sometimes we kick and scream. And consequently, sometimes He leaves us to what we think is best for us. After all, He never desired for us to be robots. He gives us free will. Just as Moses made decisions that kept him from ever reaching the promised land, we can choose to not move forward into the destiny God has for us. But... if God has the best for us, why would we not want that?? Why would I not want to follow Him to deeper and better places? He has promised abundant life. He has promised to restore the years the locust stole (Joel 2:25). When we seek Him, He doubles the portion that the enemy stole (Job 42:10). But wait-- He doesn't promise it will be easy. It's often in the valley that He speaks to us (Ezekiel 3:22), but He promises to walk through that valley with us (Psalm 23:4). He calls us His. He calls us precious and honored, promising to never leave us in our trials (Isaiah 43). The way is narrow. It's not always easy, but it's good. Because He is all good and desires to lead His children to abundance. Praise Him!

The Baby House

During the time I spent at the Iris compound, I spent as much time as possible in what is called the Baby House. The Baby House is essentially where the toddlers live. You can go and play with them on their playground, or help get them all fed at meals, or just hold them after their baths before bed. During certain times, you could take individual kids out to get some one-on-one times. This is where the Lord really drew and broke my heart. I miss these precious children more than I thought was possible!!!

This is two year old Chelsia. If I could, I would have brought her home. She has my heart and I think of her all the time. Her birthday is in just a couple of days!! Missing her...

The little girls LOVED having their nails painted = )

Steph with Marta, another super sweet little girl. One of my strongest memories of her is walking into the Baby House and making eye contact with her. She looked at me with those big eyes, pointed to herself and whispered, "Me?" WOW... Nothing will break your heart quite like that. Marta, I declare that God has CHOSEN YOU. He picks you. You are not rejected or leftover. You are His princess!!!

We let Marta and Chelsia help us bake a cake one day. They were SO serious about it, and you should have seen their faces when we let them try the icing. I don't think they've ever had that much sugar!

Jesse also grew really close to some of the children in the Baby House. This little guy was his buddy = )

LOOK AT THAT SMILE! Ernesto had a giggle and smile like you couldn't believe. He and his friend were major charmers.

Catching bubbles!

Remember, if you would like to sponsor a child through Iris Ministries, you can go to https://www.irismin.org/giving-center.

The Village of Takka

The first overnight outreach I went on was to a village called Takka. It was by far one of my favorite experiences while I was in Mozambique. We pitched tents and spent the weekend playing with kids and breaking bread with the pastor and his family. I wish I could capture some of the moments that will always be engrained in my mind... Sitting outside and looking at the stars with nothing to do but talk to my amazing team members... Sifting through beans by lamp light for the church dinner... Singing "The Body of Jesus" by lamp light while holding hands with some of the most beautiful people... It was an unforgettable experience. Such a beautiful village!!

{more posts to come SOON}

Children's Day

At Iris Ministries, June 1 is a holiday that rivals Christmas. They call it Children's Day, and it's just that-- a day all for kids. All the children receive gift packages, and that evening there is a big special dinner and program. Iris also brings in children from the Bocaria (the local trash dump) and include them in the festivities (they get presents too!) Excitement buzzes in the air that day. With so many children, little is done to celebrate birthdays, so this acts as a sort of "Every Kid's Birthday" holiday. Everyone loves it. It was so much fun getting to be a part of it while we were there!

Blueberries

I have this affinity for pictures of hands holding things. I spent last week in Maine with my family and cousins. One day while hiking, my cousins found a bunch of blueberry patches. Goodness, those things were GOOD. I've never gotten to taste a blueberry right off the bush before, but I could get used to it = ). I grabbed this picture of my cousin with a handful of blueberries and it just makes me smile. Our Creator has created so many fun colors, textures and flavors. He's so fun!