This Time for Africa

Yesterday I went and hung out with my previous roomie Lindy Green. Man, I LOVE HER! I'm so glad we roomed together last year. I'm gonna miss her this year, no doubt, but I'm glad we grew so close last year. So anyway, as usual she helped catch me up on Pop Culture. I'm always so behind = ) But she showed me a video to a song that sounded familiar but am not sure where I heard it. Regardless, this video really moved me. It's called "Waka Waka" by Shakira and it has clips from the previous World Cup. I LOVE IT. Not only is it full of clips of soccer but it shows the beauty of the sport. It brings countries together. It brings the world together. Oh how I wish that the US was more into soccer. Maybe I should move to another country = ) Ok well I'll let the video speak for itself. This time for Africa = )

Laughter

Tonight I was overwhelmed by how much God has poured His laughter over me this week. I was eating dinner with the lovely Lindsay Rae Robinson at Iron Starr BBQ in OKC when it hit me-- it was the second time this week I had found myself in that restaurant laughing until tears were pouring down my cheeks. I really don't have much to say about that other than, thank you Jesus! Thank you for friends who I can live in joy with! Thank you for meals that fill my mouth with laughter and cause my heart to overflow. You are GOOD!

"He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with shouting." Job 8:21

"Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” Psalm 126:2

"And Sarah said, “God has made laughter for me; everyone who hears will laugh over me.” Genesis 21:6

May everyone see my life and laugh at how God has so taken care of me! What was foolish to the world He has transformed! May it only point to Him!!

Perfect Sunset

Yesterday Koby let me tag along to Weatherford with her. I had SUCH good time. After dinner we went out to one of her favorite spots between Weatherford and Clinton. It's called White Horse Hill I believe? But I could have gotten that a little wrong. We were going to have dinner there, but there were two rehearsal dinners, so the owner said he couldn't fit us in but we could come back for sweet tea and the sunset. That was good enough for me!! I caught some pictures of it that I just had to share. I hope you enjoy!





[If you want to see any of my other photography, you can go to makenzihargrovephotography.blogspot.com]

Missin' My Family- Yes, Yes!

While working on gathering some photos for Antioch's College Ministry website, I found myself perusing through my pictures from India. I found some videos from team times- times of worship filled with laughter and dancing, joy and fervency. I REALLY miss these people. They are one of a kind. I absolutely love them all. I miss inviting the Lord to come among us every morning and night as we met together. I miss the encouragement. I miss the rawness. I miss the honesty. I miss the laughter. I miss the shared experiences. I wish I could spend everyday with this group. CANNOT WAIT for them all to get back to OKC/Norman in the next few weeks. I miss them!!



"They committed themselves to the teaching of the apostles, the life together, the common meal, and the prayers. Everyone around was in awe—all those wonders and signs done through the apostles! And all the believers lived in a wonderful harmony, holding everything in common. They sold whatever they owned and pooled their resources so that each person's need was met.
They followed a daily discipline of worship in the Temple followed by meals at home, every meal a celebration, exuberant and joyful, as they praised God. People in general liked what they saw. Every day their number grew as God added those who were saved." Acts 2:42-47

Happy Birthday Papa

Yesterday my Papa turned 77. He suffers from dementia so every moment and memory is dear to us as we watch him slip away. Dementia breaks my heart on so many levels, but I don't want to write about it right now. It gets me down. This post is a celebration! So here's to my puzzle partner, poker teachin', piano playin', boat drivin', "Don't Be Cruel" duetin', Christmas story readin' Papa. I love you. Happy birthday!!

Today...

I've been thinking about an aspect of motherhood and how it applies today. I remember during various sermons I've heard (the ones that come to mind were by Dennis Newkirk and Mark Driscoll), pastors have talked about how a husband should help a wife out by helping them to get time alone with God despite the responsibility of children. While saying this, I remember them mentioning to wives that sometimes they may only get 5 min with God, but to take every moment possible and God would bless it. This concept didn't apply much, but I filed it to the back of my mind and it came up today. See, my family is town. God bless them, I truly love them, but I have trouble getting off to be alone when they're here. This is an understandable thing, but I find it hard to find time to just soak Him up alone. That is quickly very taxing on me. It reminds me of my need of Him, no doubt. Anyway, today I found myself briefly alone in the car. I turned off the music and just said, "Ok Abba, this may be the only time I get all day. Fill me up. I want to sit in Your presence." I immediately felt Him come over me, and I knew He understood. This has led me to think that the amount of time needed in His presence is related to how much our heart is seeking Him. If we have the time, the more time with Him, the better!! But on the days when getting alone seems almost impossible, He blesses the little moments. He knows our hearts. He knows that we are seeking Him despite chaos, and He blesses it. This has also given me a fresh perspective of the amount of time I spend with Him each day as a single (who is obviously childless). This is the time when I can spend a much larger portion of time alone and inhaling more and more. Much like in Proverbs when it says, "A sluggard does not plow in season; so at harvest time he looks but finds nothing." (Proverbs 20:4), I believe we can store up much in these periods of life for the times when it is just impossible to spend this much time with Him. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way saying that we can spend so much time with him now that it could last us a lifetime- by no means! I pray that I always press harder into Him! I will always need more and more of Him. I only mean that I hope that I will see this stage of my life as a time when I am not only free to serve Him in a way that only a single can, but also as a time when I can sow, plow, and store for later days when I wake up early only to find a 4 year old staring me straight in the eyes asking for breakfast and a 2 year old crying in their bed, etc etc, until I fall onto my bed exhausted later that night. So there's my thoughts for today. Motherhood and it's application in my life now...

His Perfect Timing...

I've just been thinking a lot about how perfect His timing is lately... I don't have much to say, just wanted to mention it...

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live..."

Ecclesiastes 3:11-12

The Whisper

Life is chaotic yet uneventful at the moment. Having been gone for the majority of the summer thus far, my to-do list is about a mile long. I feel like I'm constantly going. My room is yet to be completely clean since moving back from college (something I'm attempting to remedy before I go to sleep tonight), thank you letters need to be written to those who supported my trip to India, rooms need to be painted in my new house, furniture needs to be found, etc, etc... I don't mind it all that much except that all I really want to do is just soak up the presence. Martin Luther once said...

"I have so much business I cannot get on without spending three hours daily in prayer."

While I haven't quite gotten to the point of implementing that in my life, I'm beginning to understand it like never before. Christ has taken me on such a journey in the past seven months. I've grown more than I possibly grew in the 14 or so years of my walk with Him that preceded it. It's been the most incredible experience, but now I stand at a crossroads. In the past months I've made ME one of, if not my biggest priority outside of God. My main focus has been redirecting my life. I quit my job, made some big life changes, removed things temptations as far from me as I could, and just focused on how to grow the best way possible. The problem is that one can't live like this forever. Eventually, you have to learn to find a happy medium, a marriage between the old and new... Or at least I think so. I don't know; perhaps I'm only rambling. However, this is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. We are called to love our neighbors as ourselves. This implies that we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. While this definitely means we are to not consider ourselves to be greater than others and we are to being servants of all, I also think that we are called to care for ourselves in a way that perhaps Christians today have lost their grasp of. Why did God create the Sabbath? He created man with limits and needs. We need rest. We need Him. We are BODY, SOUL, and SPIRIT as I've grown up learning in my wonderful home church. All three areas are interconnected and must be cared for. We can only care for others if we first care for ourselves. Much like on airplanes when we are instructed to first put our own oxygen mask on before helping others, we must first minister to ourselves. If we don't we will pass out from trying to help everyone around us. In the church today we strive to go, go, go. Serving and getting involved is without a doubt CRUCIAL, but can't become the first priority. I'll stop before I start talking in circles. I'm reminded of all of this because I've found myself longing for more of Him but trying to get everything else done first. I need Him first! I MUST HAVE MORE OF HIM. Without that, any of my other task will prove fruitless. I whole-heartedly believe this. I've seen myself burned out, and it is not a pretty thing. Depression is not a pretty thing. While thinking of this, I was reminded of the passage in 1 Kings 19 when Elijah is fighting depression. He has just seen God work through him mightily, but he then falters quickly under the threat of a vicious queen. Exhausted, he runs to the desert and just asks God to let him die because he sees himself as having failed despite all his efforts. What does Jehovah do? Man, He shows how multi-faceted He is!! He ministers to Elijah's BODY by giving him food and sleep. He ministers to his SOUL by leading him to the mount of God to meet with Him. There on the mountain, He exhorts him feeding his SPIRIT. I love the symbolism in the verse...

"11 And He said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. 13 And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak..."

One thing I find interesting about this verse is how it contrasts with Isaiah 43 which explicitly says that God walks with us through the fire and flood. 1 Kings 19 is not saying that God abandons us amidst our trials. I just love imagining the scene. The Spirit of the Lord passes by and the earth responds tumultuously towards it's Creator. It recognizes Him. Elijah, sees it all and recognizes the power of the Lord. He has seen the power before. I don't think He had forgotten what God had done on Mount Carmel a few chapters back. He was just exhausted and in need of personal ministering. Overwhelmed by the power of God and wrecked by the sweet, low whisper of his PROVIDER, HEALER, CREATOR, and I AM, Elijah wraps his face in his cloak and walks to the mouth of the cave. I've been there. So hungry for His presence that when I encounter it I just have to hide my face and weep. It's such a beautiful, cleansing, overwhelming feeling. That's where I am right now. I'm starting to get exhausted, but I refuse to continue without being wrecked by His Spirit. Lord, I want more and more of You...

Steamboat Springs

So I know I haven't blogged in a while. Honestly I've just had so much catching up to do since getting back from India!! At the moment I'm in Colorado with my family. We've been here since last Wednesday and I'm LOVING IT. Today we moved out to a cabin on 50 acres. I'm not sure I've ever been somewhere some quiet in my life. It's so peaceful and beautiful. This trip has been very refreshing in a different way than India was. India was an incredible time of building bonds with my sweet friends from Antioch, getting poured into, and pouring it all back out. This trip has been so, so different as I suppose is to be suspected. I've hiked 6 miles up a mountain (thought I would die but it was worth it), floated down Yampa River, gone to a parade, kayaked Yampa River, stood face to face with a majestic waterfall, seen the sweet Spradlin family, gone to Euzoa Bible Church, and read NON-STOP. I've read at my old pace, the pace I've missed the past few years and it has been incredible. Currently I'm starting up "The Maytrees" by Annie Dillard. I can already tell it's going to be beautiful. The picture at the bottom is what I'm currently looking at. I'm curled up under a blanket on the deck watching the sun's reflection set on the mountains. Tonight the fam and I are going to play some Settlers and make some s'mores. Yummm. Well as the sun sets, it's getting cold. I'm going to go inside and curl up with my book = ) Much love and many blessings friends...


My view at the moment.. Not sure I could be more content...